http://www.pleonast.com/user/guyface recent pleonast.com entries by user guyface en-us http://www.pleonast.com/user/guyface?l=5&entryID=527713 ok, where were we? oh right, i was writing a mediocre pleo entry (problem solved). i don't know exactly who to blame for this, but it now costs me over $50 to fill my tank. i'm gonna go ahead and blame ford. and the detroit red wings, while i'm at it... but lets focus on the positive, kids. i ate eggs benedict for the first time a couple weeks ago. i'm sure i've had opportunity to eat them before, but i guess i just always felt under-dressed. honest to blog, it was one of the most pleasurable experiences of my life. i'm kind of a breakfast guy. lets see...other firsts. oh, i was electrocuted for the first time recently (not so pleasurable). and even as i use the word "electrocute", i understand that i am mis-using it. you see, "electrocution" requires death. i had no idea until i looked it up on the interweb after being "electrically shocked". i was gonna research how to avoid future electric shock, but i got distracted by the chronicles of narnia traile... 2008-05-13 http://www.pleonast.com/user/guyface?l=5&entryID=498713 three entries. on the screen. its a milestone, kids. and i hate to say it, but i don't know how much longer i can keep this up. look, its not that i don't trust people. ok, it is. it is that i don't trust people. and all these personal thoughts--these aphoristic musings--right there in black and white, with nary a password or a data-encryption. i mean, i guess i could pay the dues and get the gold, right? then only those on my exclusive "friends" list could read my thoughts... at first the very idea was a travesty. and a sham. and a mockery. it was a traveshamockery. but the more i think about it, the better it sounds. i mean, if i have to read 2nd Coming Can Be Today one more time, i'm gonna punch my computer screen in the face. right? all you goldmembers (and non-goldmembers) out there, feel free to chime in. is a gold membership all its cracked up to be? is it not all its not cracked up to be? what about, will the new m. night shyamalan film suck? soapbox is yours. ... 2008-02-29 http://www.pleonast.com/user/guyface?l=5&entryID=494359 i went clothes shopping on saturday. 3 shirts, 3 pairs of pants, 9 pairs of socks. if i count the socks as 1 item, then 5 of the 7 items i bought do not fit. thats 71 percent. or, a 29 percent rate of success. lets do the math on this: 3 (pairs of pants) + 3 (shirts) x 4 (number of stores visited) / 17 (average number of people standing in line to try on clothes at each store) x -2 (my willingness to stand in line with those people) - 270 (dollars spent) / (the square root of) 3 (hours spent shopping) x 29 (percent of items that fit correctly once purchased) = x where x is the overall success of the shopping trip x = i hate clothes shopping with the fire of a thousand suns 2008-02-19 http://www.pleonast.com/user/guyface?l=5&entryID=488605 its 8:45 pm and i've got my window open. there's like a nice cool breeze wafting in from outside. it smells like rain and freedom. its also monday night and i'm not at the gym. holy smokes, i don't know what to do with myself. guess i'll write a pleo. i'm not gonna front, kids. i don't like the tornado sirens. they probably scare me more than the ebola virus. they probably scare me more than tornadoes. someone asked me one time what my biggest fear was. i said it was public speaking. and fire. it was kind of ironic, because at the time i was actually sitting around a campfire with a whole bunch of people. but i wasn't scared. fear is strange like that. while driving home last night, i started thinking about what would happen if i ever was involved in an altercation with another driver. i realized that the only weapon i could use would be the plastic ice scraper behind my seat. then i tried real hard to think of a better weapon, but i couldn't. so...i guess i'm all set. can someon... 2008-02-05