A British newspaper once offered a prize to whoever could come up with the best definition of the word "Friend." The winning entry was, "A friend is someone who comes in when the whole world has gone out."
As human beings, we crave friendship. When I say friendship, I mean true friendship--not just casual acquaintances--but people with whom we can laugh our heads off with, spill out our guts to, care for, be encouraged by, share advice, love, and trust.
Unfortunately, these days it seems like it's really hard to find someone that has all of these attributes. I'll admit that there's a very small number of people in my life that I do all these things with. But that's what makes them so special. I'm definitely not going to say that I perfectly display all of the characteristics of a true friend because often I don't. But it's something that I strive to get better at and pray about every day, and so should we all I believe.
Because it's so hard to find people that have the said characteristics of a true friend, it's vitally important to choose you friends with care.
Proverbs 12:26 says, "The righteous should choose his friends carefully, For the way of the wicked leads them astray."
When we begin associating with the wrong people, we become like them.
But wait! "Good morals improve bad company," right? This sounds good....but is it? I wish it were true. Unfortunately, generally speaking, it's not, and it is not what the Inspired Scriptures state.
Corinthians 15:33 says "Be not deceived. Evil companions corrupt good morals."
We must remember a little leaven leavens the whole lump. Don't let that leaven into your life and you won't find yourself caught up in sin. My dad has a saying that he loves to repeat all the time, and it has always stuck with me. The saying is, "Sin will take you farther than you want to go, make you stay longer than you want to stay, and make you pay more than you want to pay." I believe probably 99% of the time, the reason we fall into sin is because of bad influences in our life. That's why it is so important to choose our friends carefully, even in the church!
Prov. 27:17 states, "As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend." Find someone who you know will sharpen you. Or else you're going to go dull spiritually, and what does it profit if you gain the whole world and lose your soul?
True friends are there during the difficult times. In fact, many times you find out who your true friends are when you are going through the difficult times. When your going through these times, those friends who are out there for their own interest are going to disappear, but those who are true are going to stick it out with you and be there for you. Proverbs 17:17 says "A friend loves at all times..."
Prov. 27:14 states "He who blesses his friend with a loud voice in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him." I think there's a lot of sarcasm in this verse. And I love it. I think that it teaches us a little bit about the definition of a friend.
For example, I know some people are morning people. To those of you who are, I don't understand you at all. I don't understand how some of you can wake up at 6:00am in the morning and are ready to start the day with a smile. I'm just not like that. I am a night person and that's when I function best. The point is, however, if you're a true friend to someone, you know what they like and dislike. You know if they are a morning or night person. Obviously if you had a friend who is a night person who loves to sleep in, you wouldn't wake them up at 6:00am, shouting at them. When you think about it, how many people know you that well? How many people that you call a friend know what you like and dislike? There usually aren't very many people that fit in that category. The ones that do, however, are probably your true friends, because you care about them and know them.
In order to have real friends, we need to learn how to be real friends. Prov. 18:24 says, "He who has friends must himself be friendly..." Sometimes people want to be everyone's best friend, but then in return, they don't give that friendship that others give them. When individuals do this, however, it usually ends up where the person realizes that the other person isn't truly looking out for their best interests. I think we have to always remember that friendship isn't all about me! Friendship is all about the other person! We are commanded in the Bible to put others before ourself and serve others, but I believe we often forget this. The verse goes on to say "...but there is one who sticks closer than a brother." There are very few who you can have that best friend relationship with. And I think it's probably not a good or healthy thing to have too many "best friends," because when you have too many "best friends," you tend to not have enough time for some, and pay more attention to others which only causes strife. The thing is, this relationship is supposed to be reciprocal. You only get back what you have put into the friendship. If we put our time and efforts into a friendship wisely, that's when we will get in return a true, beneficial, and sturdy friendship.
The definition of backbiting is "to speak unfavorably or slanderously of a person who is not present." As Christians, we're told not to speak slanderously about one another. We don't need to be told this, however, because it should be a given. Backbiting doesn't improve our relationship with anybody, and it sure isn't something that's going to benefit us in any way. On the other hand, however, we should have trust in each other and not accuse others of backbiting unless we have proof. Giving people the benefit of the doubt is one of the hardest things for me to do. But it's what we're supposed to do as Christians. If you suspect someone is backbiting about you, go to them and ask them about it. Don't call someone a backbiter behind their back--think about it.
"He who covers a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates friends." We find this proverb in Proverbs 17:9. Please...when someone faults you, forgive them. I know it sounds 3rd-gradish, but, "Forgive and forget." Gossip is one of, if not the largest cause of destroyed friendships. We have to remember that when we talk about each other, we are separating ourselves not only from that friend, but from God! Matthew 12:36 tells us we are going to give account for every idle word that proceeds from our mouth. We always need to be careful and watch what we say. When someone is gossiping or backbiting against you, don't ignore that person, but approach them about it. I can never stand when friends ignore each other. I understand sometimes friends need breaks from each other, but when you flat out ignore someone, it's not Christian-like at all. How many heavens do we think there are going to be? Are you going to act like that in heaven? Think about it...
Lastly, friends should be there to encourage one another. This is one of the most important characteristics of friendship I believe. Hebrews 3:13 states, "But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin." It's our responsibility to encourage one another, and compliment one another for their spiritual steadfastness. How else are we going to be goaded to walk the narrow path? Other than encouraging one another for the spiritual aspect, we can find in Proverbs 16:24 that it's just good for us period. "Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones."
But let's also remember Apostle John's words in I Jn. 3:18--"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but in deed and in truth." Show your friendship through your actions, not empty words.
And remember that winning entry--"A friend is someone who comes in when the whole word has gone out."
What wonderful thoughts I think everyone should think about their friendships and try and improve on them. I also hope that you consider me a friend because i know you are a good friend to me!
lol i'm do n ok 2 bad i might just go with my friend Mia i cant wait 2 see every 1!!! I miss u all sooooo...., much!!! =) so what all have u been up 2? hows school? I'm try n 2 get a job its hard cuz I dont drive yet.
Hey, I hope you enjoyed the Friends concert! Hannah and I noticed you nodding off during one of the songs. Haha. Were they that relaxing, or were you just exhausted?
Thank you for posting what u did and everything you had to say deffinately is all very important and things we should deffinately take to heart. I can tell you right now, It's hard finding those true friends. Sometimes you learn that friends you thought were true, happen to not be so true to you afterall, and then you do find out through those tough times in your life that the ones that always stick by your side and don't look down on the mistakes you've made in your past or mistakes you make now are really true to you. It's always nice to hear things about friends because they are special people and those true friends help you to be who you should be.(most of the time).
That was really well written. Thanks for the thoughts. This is Susan Stoa, by the way, in case you don't remember who I am. I was at HS camp in Pennsylvania in 2003.
I spent the morning at an old friend's grave
Flowers and Amazing Grace, he was a good man
He spent his whole life spinnin' his wheels
Never knowin' how the real thing feels
He never took a chance or took the time to dance
And I stood there thinking as I said goodbye
Today is the first day of the rest of my life
I'm gonna stop lookin' back and start movin' on
And learn how to face my fears
Love with all of my heart, make my mark
I wanna leave something here
Go out on a ledge, with out any net
That's what I'm gonna be about
Yeah I wanna be runnin'
When the sand runs out
'Cause people do it everyday
Promise themselves they're gonna change
I've been there, but I'm changin' from the inside out
That was then and this is now
I'm a new man, yeah, I'm a brand new man
And when they carve my stone they'll write these words
"Here lies a man who lived life for all that its worth"
I'm gonna stop lookin' back and start movin' on
Learn how to face my fears
Love with all of my heart, make my mark
I wanna leave something here
Go out on a ledge, with out any net
That's what I'm gonna be about
Yeah I wanna be runnin'
When the sand runs out
Ok, so it again has been forever since I posted. I didn't realize how long it has been! I really don't have much of an excuse for me not posting since I'm on spring break and all, but I promise that I have been keeping myself pretty occupied on break.
Over the break I applied to a few stores hoping to get a job for next semester. I applied to a couple optometry offices hoping to get a job there and got an interview at one called ValuVision a couple weeks ago! Now, I've had quite a few interviews in the past and did pretty well with all of them, but for some reason, I was reallllly nervous during this interview. I'm still not exactly sure why, but I was disappointed with myself afterwards. I had to take a math test and they had to do a background check. Well I didn't get a call for a while and figured that I just didn't get the job. Well I got a call a few days later saying that my math test finally came back in and I did good on it so she wanted me to go to the doctor to take my drug test. She said my background check hadn't come in yet but it was a good sign that she had me go in for the drug test before the background check had come in so I was excited. She finally got the background check in Friday, and called and offered me the job! She wanted me to come in yesterday and sign some papers and talk about pay and hours. It went WONDERFULLY! My starting pay is amazing and the hours couldn't be better. They are so accommodating with school and church, it's unbelievable. I will be working Mondays, Fridays, Saturdays, and occasionally Sundays, but they are only open from 1-5 on Sundays so I don't have to worry about it interfering with church. And they understand that I can't work Wednesday nights so they're just going to give me Wednesdays off! I'm so blessed to have this job. God has definitely been good! Tomorrow will be my first day working there. Wish me luck!
I'm still trying to figure out how I am going to make it through this semester. Taking 17 hours and working a part time job is going to be rough. This probably means goodbye to pleo, facebook, tv, and xbox....Oh how I will miss you...:-(
This break has been wonderful! I got to go to Athens, AL and see my grandparents and a lot of friends there! Then I went to my parents and stayed with them a few days. That was really nice and relaxing. Got a lot of money for Christmas :-) And New Year's was really good. Went to Cookeville, TN and had fun with all my friends there.
I'm starting to get ready for school. This is our last week of freedom :-( I can't believe school starts in a week! I bought all my folders and binders and paper so I'm pretty much set! I recently got an update on what teachers were teaching a couple of my classes that were TBA, and they are good teachers. So that means all of my teachers except one this semester have good reviews! And the one who didn't have good reviews didn't have terrible reviews so I should be able to deal with him.
Well I guess I'm off to fix myself some dinner and study.
I apologize ahead of time for not posting! I have a feeling it will be a while before you see another post from me.
See ya!
oh i remember that
i took 15 hours with 3 labs that were 3 hours each.
and decided "i need to work".
it was my best semester tho. i love being that busy.
Congrats on the great job!!!! ...and just what you want to be doing! NICE! go pats... yesss! =] Vacation has been beautiful, tho too short. See you soon. Good luck on Monday - first day.
wow, sounds like life is pretty busy for you lately dear friend but i am SO happy that this job has worked out for you. Good luck with school and work an everything, i know that you can do it. i miss you andyman!! :(
You are a gem, Andy. I'm glad to hear that you liked P&P...some girl will be a lucky lady :).
Jonathan is a good hubby and has watched them all with me...he does not, however, sit in each and every time the girls and I watch them...Gotta draw the line somewhere I guess :)
Thanksgiving is tomorrow! YAY!!!! AND I get off school tomorrow and Friday! I'm going to have a great weekend I think except for a couple projects and studying I have to do for finals :-(
I registered for my classes on Monday. Here is my pending schedule for next semester.
MONDAY, WEDNESDAY, FRIDAY
10:20-11:15 General Biology II
11:30-12:25 (Honors) Fundamentals of Communication
12:40-1:35 General Chemistry II
1:50-2:45 Probability and Statistics
TUESDAY
1:00-2:25 Introduction to Music
2:35-5:35 General Chemistry II Lab
THURSDAY
1:00-2:25 Introduction to Music
2:40-5:25 General Biology II Lab
If there's anything I've learned from college, it's that I am NOT a morning person when you have to go to a class at 8 in the morning and actually LISTEN to an hour and a half of straight through LECTURE. I decided that I cannot stand it. So I think my grades will benefit from this time schedule change. I'm a MAJOR night owl so now I will get to stay up (even) later and actually get the proper sleep to help me pay attention to lecture. I'm kind of excited about my communications class. I've never been the best public speaker so I'm hoping the class will help me out! Prob and Stats will be my last math class ever! It makes me sad...although math lost about 100 cool points after taking Calc. 2, I'll still miss it. Music should be a fun class. Bio and Chem are blah.... I'm taking 17 credit hours but I think I can handle it.
I'm also getting a job next semester. I have a few places in mind that I'm going to apply to. Lord willing they will work out. If not, I'm sure I could probably always get a job at Starbucks...which wouldn't be too bad.
So, what happened to not taking any Honors classes? LOL! Looks like a good schedule! I am not a morning person, either, and I never could stand 8 a.m. classes.
You know I'm in if you find a good spot! My fiance and I will be in town from December 15th-30th! I hope she gets to meet you! Can't wait to hang with you again soon!
It was great to seeyou briefly over the holiday. Your schedule is intimidating to me :) I never went to college so I can only imagine. Ashleigh has a big schedule this semester too. But like I told her. Only 4 months and then summer break. I told Allison that only 7 months and you and Ashleigh will be at FC. We love you Andy...you always rock :)
Life is still going great for me. I couldn't imagine it any better.
The author of the song "The Love of God" definitely had it right when he wrote the words,
"Could we with ink the ocean fill and were the skies of parchment made; were every stalk on earth a quill and every man a scribe by trade; to write the love of God above would drain the ocean dry; nor could the scroll contain the whole, tho stretched from sky to sky!"
I've found myself insanely busy though with tons of stuff. With Bible study, Bible studies, church, keeping up decent grades in school, hanging out with friends, and other various activities, I find little time to check up on Pleo anymore.
I'm getting ready to apply for a job. In a lot of ways I'm excited but then also that will just take up more time. I've definitely decided NO more honors classes so maybe I won't have to spend as much time in the school area next semester as this semester. Let's hope at least.
This Friday night I'm going to a Bible study and spending the night. Then on Saturday we are going to Nashville to a Predator's game. I've never been to a hockey game before so that should be a lot of fun!
I'm off to finish cleaning my room, wash some clothes, class, then I have to study Biology for the rest of the day. I have a huge exam tomorrow :-( But I'll do good I think...
Heb. 3:13 "But exhort one another daily, while it is still called 'Today,' lest any of you be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin"
So glad that things are going great for you Andy - your life and the choices you are making make me as happy as they are making you! Good luck on your test and have fun this weekend! I can't wait to have you home for Thanksgiving. Any special requests (uh-oh, I think I'm turning into Grandma.) Keep me updated on the job search!
One of my favs song!!! Actually not taking honors classes doesn't really lighten the load, dropping college does! =] But since I DO NOT encourage that... you should try to keep up some honors courses just because they are smaller and sometimes easier... shhhh. I didn't say that! ;] Hope you find a job you like. Have a great end of the semester... tho I should see you around! =]
Man, it was great to see you the other night! I really hope we can work something out concerning next fall's living arrangements! I know you would be a great roomate!
Hey.. I officiallly finished the letter and printed it out and everything.. lol .. I had to have my cousin go get ink for tyhe printer.... so you'll get it soon ...
