Give me that old time socialism! I look forward to eating a steady diet of government cheese and living in a van down by the river.
Ok, just kidding.
But in all seriousness, even though I voted for the other guy - not to be confused with that guy - Barack Obama is now MY president. Hail to the chief, and bring on the Gouda!
When I was in college, my roommate's grandmother was on "government cheese" and they gave her SO much per month, that she was passing it out to the grandkids. Well, we had a 2lb brick of nameless orange cheese that was barely edible (and you know I like cheese) in the fridge for months before we couldn't stand it any longer and threw it away. How wasteful that the government would give any single person a 2lb brick AND MORE per month. String cheese would have been a luxury; at least it is tasty!
I've been tagged by my mom, so here are 8 random facts:
1) My favorite color is black
2) As a child, I had a gift for technology and I won a race with a vehicle I designed!
3) I am loyal to a fault, and I don't tolerate those who aren't.
4) My voice used to be almost whiny, but one day, without warning, it got dramatically deeper.
5) Since I was born I've had really good instincts, almost like a sixth sense. You might say I'm a natural at things like racing and fighting.
6) I have terrible rage issues, and I take out my own frustrations on others.
7) I was secretly married to a queen who bore me twins before she died.
8) My son converted me from the dark side.
Wait, I must be thinking of somebody else. Sky-something. I can't remember.
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With the popularity of fantasy football I figured I should bring this meta-sport to another of America's great competitive arenas: politics. Fantasy elections, anyone? I don't know who to pick first: Obama or McCain.
Bond is in a dimly lit room, strapped to a table by his wrists and ankles. The room has a solitary door and there is a single light dangling above his head.
Suddenly, the door is opened.
[Enter Dr. No and two henchmen]
Bond: Dr. No we finally meet.
Dr. No: Yes, Mr. Bond, we meet at last. Obviously you've already met my assistant Heidi Seek.
Bond: Yes, a stunning woman. One might say she had quite a captivating personality.
Dr. No: [Chuckles] Good! Good Mr. Bond! Well I bring you here today because I request something of you.
One henchmen points the room's only light directly into Bond's face, while the other opens a black briefcase to reveal several sharp, pointed, metal instruments.
Bond: Are you mad? Do you really expect me to talk?
Dr. No: [Chuckling] Talk? No Mr. Bond, I expect you to floss!
A henchman hits Bond over the head and he passes out.
[Fade to Black]
Scene 2
[Fade in]
Bond awakens to find himself alone in his bed with a brand new toothbrush and floss lying next to him on the bed.
He reaches into his pocket and finds a card that reads: Dr. No DDS, Your Next Appointment is Feb 3rd 2009.
Bond: MI6 really needs a new health care provider.
If the lottery is a tax on the poor, does that make carbon offsets a tax on the rich? As much as environmentalists want to make global warming a moral issue, don't think for one minute that it isn't big business.
While Big Oil has been one of the biggest bogeymen of Democrats for decades, Big Green hasn't received the same amount of scrutiny as it's trying to pick the green out of our collective pockets
Take, for instance, oil baron T. Boone Pickens who has been running a national campaign calling for more wind energy. His plan is for us to move 20% of our electricity production to wind energy. That, he claims, would allow us to divert our natural gas resources away from electricity to vehicles, thus reducing our dependence on foreign oil. It sure sounds great, but don't think Mr. Pickens is doing this for purely philanthropic reasons. He didn't get rich by being a philanthropist.
First, Mr. Pickens is building the world's largest wind farm, is on the board of a natural gas company, and owns a hedge fund highly invested in natural gas. Hmmmm.... sounds like he's in for a windfall of his own if his plan goes forward.
But not only that, Mr. Pickens has the government in his back pocket too. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has invested between $100,001 and $250,00 in Clean Energy Fuels Corp (CLNE), a natural gas company owned by Pickens. Somehow I doubt he will have much problem getting our tax dollars to help pay for his get-rich-quick scheme.
Is it any surprise that someone who struck it rich on oil will find a way to ride the current wave of environmentalism to more and more profits? Don't let Big Green pull the wool over your eyes: there is a lot of green to be made by promoting global warming.
The exciting adventures of my subungual hematoma have taken a few twists and turns. First, I got an infection around my nailbed, causing the skin between my knuckle and fingernail to swell into a large, painful lump.
I went to the doctor to have him look at it, and he told me that he would have to make an incision to release the pus that had collected under the skin. He said that the painkiller shot would hurt about as much as the incision would, but then he decided to give it to me anyway. Believe me, the fingertip is not where you want to get a shot.
Well, he cut the lump open and squeezed all the nasty out, and I went home with some antibiotics and some instructions to soak my finger. All done, I thought.
Well, exactly 24 hours after I took my last antibiotic, I broke out into an itchy rash all over my body. It turns out that I’m allergic to sulfa drugs, and allergic reactions can occur up to two weeks after you stop taking a drug. So, again, I make a pilgrimage to the doctor.
The doctor told me I just had to wait out the allergy, but he was more concerned that I still had pus under my fingernail, so he told me he’d have to remove the entire nail. So, after two pain shots, fortunately not in the tip of my finger, he yanks the nail off. He said the nail came of very easily, in fact, it probably would have come off on its own soon. I didn’t even bleed or anything. The white stuff the doctor saw under the nail wasn’t pus, but the new nail growing in underneath. Oh well, he sent me home with some antibiotic cream and instructions to soak my finger in peroxide twice a day.
The next morning I woke up and my allergy was worse. My whole face was red and swollen, and Melissa said I had Angelina Jolie lips. I go back to the doctor, and he gave me a steroid shot in the ol’ gluteus maximus and tells me to take antihistamines.
Let me say, steroids are GREAT! My rash started to go away, and now I’m pumped like Ah-nold. Ok, so the first part was true, and I doubt anybody at the softball tournament will be doing drug tests.
So, after an ER visit and three doctor visits, I hope this saga will be OVER. I’m not counting my chickens though, I may yet get ‘roid rage.
Hope you're almost through all of it. I can completely relate to the chain reaction of medications...a new one to fix what the last one did. Sounds like I'll see you at the softball tournament?!
I'm allergic to sulfa too and I found out by getting a rash. I love how Melissa is so sensitive to you in your time of need "Angelina Jolie lips"!! LOL! :)
Happy Anniversary, dude boy! Who would have believed that you could have snagged such a lovely bride AND held onto her! It must be that Harbin charm! Love you!
