Diligence and trust...two very important words in my vocabulary at the moment.
I have done a lot of thinking over the summer about where I've been, where I am, and where I want to be. And when I take stock of everything, I know that I have a lot of growing to do. I can see the potential of who I could become and it's very exciting. But the road there isn't easy. There is a demon called self control that I haven't quite conquered yet, and that is key.
Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am extremely goal-oriented. I have to know what I'm working towards, to have an aim in mind and a plan to get there. It frustrates me to no end for the future, whether near or distant, to be wide open and totally unknown. This can be a good thing in that I can make plans and decisions and have confidence in my direction. But it is also a disadvantage, for beyond my goals of self-improvement, I have a clear idea of how my life should go for the next 3-5 years. I know what I want to happen and when it ought to occur and can see the perfect life I will have if everything goes accordingly. It goes something to the tune of beginning a relationship with a wonderful Christian guy, completing my B.S. in Elementary Education at F.C. with flying colors, marrying said person in May-June of 2011 (shortly after graduation), teaching for a few years and making a difference, enjoying the responsibilities of a wife and mother, and engaging in some sort of foreign evangelism...leading up to the conclusion of a joyous and successful life.
I want to be a wife and mother more than anything in the world. I would give up much if I could only be blessed with that chance. And I have such a love for travel and for God's people around the world. I have a burning desire in my heart to see more of His creation and share in fellowship with those in other cultures. I also love children and have a passion for providing a good education. I know my talents lie in that area and that I can use that as an avenue to serve God and help others.
Here's the thing: God doesn't promise me any of that.
What He does say is that if I seek His truth, He will provide and take care of me. It's not up to me to determine His methods or timing.
So I guess what I'm struggling with right now is fully trusting the Lord with all that I have and working to become the best I can be as a servant of Him in the situations He's placed me. It is incredibly difficult to focus on the things I need to be doing when so many things are in my face, distracting me with worries and desires and fears. When I start to see my life not going the way I think it should go I begin to panic. What am I doing wrong? Why isn't this working out? How can I fix this???
God's timing is perfect, my mind knows that. It's convincing my heart that is the battle.
I don't like not being in control. But my God is so powerful and wise - more so than I will ever be - and I must rest my confidence in Him.
If you read all that, bless you. You're wonderful. And should you have opportunity, please pray for me as I strive to learn the definitions of diligence and trust.
The more you keep God at the center of your decisions, and your aims are for good things, you will usually attain them. They may not be exactly what you were thinking of, or what you 'always wanted'. But more times than not, He'll use you in ways you didn't know you were able to be used, and in places where you might not ever have thought of being. I think you can reach those goals you set for yourself, as long as God is your #1 consultant in everything. Best to you. (your plans sound pretty well laid-out in your mind, some people don't even have a plan.)
I saw your name lit up and since I was reading scriptures on planning this morning, I thought it appropriate to comment. Proverbs 16:9 A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.
I have been struggling with the exact same thing for awhile. I can't imagine a life without a husband and children of my own, but I know that if that's what God wants for me I can live that life with His help. It takes complete trust to be content with our situation, no matter where we are. I'll be praying for you. Please pray for me, as well.
You already know how I feel about this. I think that I really needed to know that we were in the same boat... as are many others in our age group. I love you and i know that God will take care of you in all things! I love you sooooo much! Have a lovely day!
In moments like this, I lift up my voice, I lift up my soul to Christ...
I meant to post this months ago when I first wrote it and published it as a note on Facebook, but time slipped away from me and I forgot. As some of you know, the church I worship with in Florida, North Terrace church of Christ, is a bilingual congregation. One of our elders, Royce Chandler, helped begin the work in Colombia over 30 years ago and continues to evangelize there and provide support to congregations. I and several others had the opportunity to go to Colombia this summer to help run a camp (put on by individuals) for the Christian kids down there, and these are just some reflections from my last night in Manizales, the town where we spent most of our time.
At this moment I am sitting in my room at the Hotel Plaza Roma. It is my last night in Manizales, Colombia, as tomorrow we will be in Bogota and Tuesday I will be traveling home. I always love traveling because of the people, places, & culture I am able to see and the experiences I can take away from it. However, this trip has affected me so profoundly that it is a challenge to gather all my thoughts. I'm going to try, though, because I have much on my mind that I want to share.
And He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the gospel to the whole creation. Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved; but whoever does not believe will be condemned."
Until this trip I don't think I fully understood these words of Jesus found in Mark 16:15-16. Everyone needs Christ...no matter what country you live in or what your name is or what language you speak, you need salvation. I think that sometimes when we hear of a conversion in a foreign country, we tend to think of that person as more like a child, and rather than truly rejoicing that another soul has been added to the kingdom, it's more of an "Aww, how sweet!" moment. I know I have been guilty of this. However, this is simply not accurate. The people I have had the honor of meeting on this trip are real people - they have the same thoughts, hopes, dreams, and fears as we do. They are sinners cleansed just like us. And they are zealous workers for the Lord. They simply come from a different culture and speak another language. Galatians 3:28 says it all:
There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
I have been truly touched by the hearts of the Christians here. Saying goodbye to them all brought tears to my eyes as I was overwhelmed by their kindness, sincerity, and love for the Lord. Nearly every member of the church in Manizales, from the smallest boy to the oldest woman, clasped my hands and wished God's blessings upon me and those in my group. I do not know if I will be blessed with the opportunity to visit with them again...but if I never see them again on this earth, I will carry my memories of them in my heart forever and yearn for the day when I can worship God with them in heaven.
I thank God for blessing me with the opportunity to go on this trip; to worship with the brethren in Manizales, to go to the Encuentro, and to see His creation in Colombia. He is truly awesome, and I am amazed by His power to bring people together for His work, crossing all barriers: language, culture, age, ability...glory to God in the highest!
I'm so glad you got to go!! Did you take pictures? If you did, I need to see them! I can't wait til you get back to FL and you can tell me all about Colombia!
I know what the spanish title is "i've worked it out. "in moments like this, i lift up my voice, i lift up my soul to Christ." Heh, I'm like bilingual.
*After 2 months, flowers not only die; they get moldy and the water smells revolting.
*Lizards are tricky to catch, but it can be done if one can quit being a silly, screaming girl long enough to trap it in a pillowcase.
*Guys don't think about things nearly as much as girls do. This statement can be applied to a broad range of situations.
*The people you live with have more influence on you than you can imagine. Choose them wisely, for they have the power to affect you profoundly, for better or worse.
*Dollar Tree is the first place to go when you need to buy anything. It's a wonderful place.
*130ish girls living in one building = nearly unlimited fashion resources. Someone's bound to have the perfect necklace or shoes to go with that outfit!
*Most people have struggles or rough lives you don't know about. Don't judge, give people the benefit of the doubt, and thank God for the blessings you have. Don't take them for granted.
*Playing in the rain is quite liberating...and a lot of fun. :)
*Placing membership at a local church and becoming active is vital. They are your family; they give you opportunities to serve, learn, and grow. You're cheating yourself if you say, "I'm just a college student" and blend into the background. Put yourself out there, find ways to serve, and I guarantee you'll find your college experience more rewarding.
*Let out your inner child once in a while! Blow bubbles, deliver old-school cartoon valentines, and fly a kite (or attempt to). I promise, you're not too cool for it.
*In order to have a clean shower...you have to actually clean it sometimes. It doesn't magically stay that way, nor does the trash take itself out or the carpet repel dust. Earth shattering, I know.
*You can go to devos every day of the week, pray with your friends every night, and attend multiple singings and gospel meetings, but it's absolutely worthless if you don't maintain a personal relationship with God. Studying and praying daily may be tough to work into your schedule, but it's the absolute most important thing to accomplish each day.
...and that's not even all the stuff I learned in class.
"I come back to you now at the turn of the tide..."
Wow. It's been a long time, folks.
So much has changed since my last post. Life as I know it has pretty much been turned upside down. But it's all one great adventure, isn't it?
Here I am, already through a semester and a month at Florida College. Time has gone by so fast! What to say? The Lord has truly been gracious to me. I pretty much have the most amazing suite ever. We are incredibly close, and I am so thankful for these three girls and the times we've shared together. We pray every night, have great spiritual discussions, and they are constantly encouraging me in my walk with Christ. Not to mention plenty of crazy nights and sweet suite outings ;) You three are definitely in my wedding!
Classes are challenging but good. I've learned so much from my Bible classes especially. I've also had the opportunity to tutor at the FC Academy and Temple Terrace Elementary in connection with my education classes, and that's been great. I'm definitely keeping busy balancing class, work, extra-curriculars, and a social life! But it's a good kind of busy.
I'm pretty much over high school...I think that's a good thing. Not that I don't miss ABS sometimes - I really do - but it's over for me, and I'm OK with that. I'm done with the drama, gossip and immaturity. And I'm definitely done with stressing over GPAs, scholarships, and class ranks!
I've placed membership at the North Terrace church of Christ, and I truly love it there. It's on the small side - only about 100 members - and it just feels like a family. It's also a bilingual congregation; worship is conducted in both English and Spanish, and there are separate English and Spanish clases for adults. This has given me an opportunity to practice mi Espanol...and also to sample some real Hispanic food! ;)
Honestly, I think I'm having the time of my life. *cue Green Day music* I have so many amazing friends. I have the opportunity to learn more and more about God's word from my peers and those older and wiser than me. I have a great church family. I'm pursuing a career that I'm SO excited about. I'm constantly learning, growing, and maturing. And I live an hour from the beach. What more could one ask for? :)
Aww, what a wonderful update! I love living with you and glowing/playing together every day. God has truly blessed us these past months, and I am thankful for the time He's allowed us to share! :-)
Glad you're loving your life at FC, sounds like things are going great. Hope it continues. We may see you on our Spring break - we're gonna try to plan on coming down part of that week.
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oh Lord, i thought the day would never dawn when i'd lay my burdens down and walk with You, but this morning as i met the rising sun, i felt, dear Lord, my dreams had all come true...
Isn't it amazing how God can work through other people, the power of His word, and the world He created to touch our hearts in just the right way?
My summer thus far has been nothing but spiritually encouraging and motivating. Ireland gave me the opportunity to admire God's creation. Worshipping with the saints in London, Dublin, and Tunbridge Wells made me appreciate my blessings and examine my own zeal. And FC AL camp...well, it's hard to find words for that. I can honestly say that my week at camp has been one of the most amazing experiences of my life. Bible classes, group discussions, assembly talks, gazebo singings, experiencing nature, breaking my heart and building it up again...it all made my last year at camp the best one I have ever had. Thanks be to God for blessing me with these opportunities!
And continuing the pattern, I'm off tommorrow for Daughters of Virtue camp. I'm praying that it will be as spiritually uplifting as I expect it to be.
Laura, this is Jeb Reaves, did you know my dad started the group in London in 1980 and I lived there for 4 1/2 years. Did you meet Peter Bentley the blind brother? And Derek Daniell in Tumbridge wells? It's a great place and I was excited to hear that you went there. What did you do while in London?
Laura, I'm definitely looking forward to DOV camp. Let me rephrase that: I absolutely cannot wait to spend a week with all our sisters in Christ growing closer to the Lord and to each other! See you soon, Lord willing. :-)
Oh, you're staying to get the book. I got it. :) You would probably need to be here by 8 in the morning. Doesn't sound like you'll be getting a lot of sleep. :P
hey laura this is gracie if you are wondering...this was a long time ago~ i said my pirates hat was actually from or i thought it was from pirates of the caribbean yeah well it really wasn't and i knew that so yeah i kinda lied im sorry
