I remember waiting for the summer of 1995 and thinking it was the longest wait I had ever endured. Now, here I am, FOURTEEN years later...
It's a little crazy how time speeds up as you get older, but it makes sense in that the longer you're alive, the smaller percentage of your life any unit of time takes up. For example:
If you're 10 years old, then a year is 1/10th of your entire life.
If you're 25, a year is only 1/25th of your life.
I guess that's relativity. And I guess that's why relativity sucks.
In the interest of amusing theorem, I hereby present this funny equation as to why girls/women are evil. It's horribly inaccurate, and I'll describe why after you see it.
See? Funny, but very inaccurate. Money ≠ Evil, but the love of money = √Evil. So. Funny. But wrong.
That about sums up my sense of humor. Funny, but wrong.
I love the theory - but when I went to show it to my bro and Ben (thinking they would laugh) they stopped me mid-explanation and said, "Heard it. I was taught that in 1st grade." Ouch. I want someone to laugh at it with me!!!!!
Sorry. Not exactly the point of this blog, but every time I hear those three words together, I can't help but think of that song. Kind of like anyone says either "Stop" or "Alright, stop" I immediately think "Hammertime" and "Collaborate and LISTEN!!"
I'm going to write a movie.
Then I'm going to get an agent.
The agent will sell my movie to some studio.
I will get lots of American Dollars.
The movie will be a huge success.
I will get more lots of American Dollars.
I will write and direct a movie.
The movie will be a huge success.
I will get even more lots of American Dollars.
Rinse, repeat.
And when I'm rich and everyone on this continent, or even planet knows my name, I'll disappear. I'll buy an island somewhere in the middle of the ocean, where it snows in the winter, and the sun shines in the summer, where leaves fall in the fall and things blossom in the spring. I will then spend my remaining days reading the Bible and swimming. I will eventually die in my sleep one cool fall evening. It will be painless, and I will go to Heaven where I can spend eternity with a God who loves me.
Maybe then I'll be able to grasp eternity without feeling like my brain is a piece of bubble gum trying to wrap itself around the Earth.
What about the part where you get jaded and realize that you lost yourself in the pursuit of what you thought was your dream only to wind up an old, unhappy has-been with no soul who then goes on a journey of self-discovery and renaissance and finds that the things that truly matter you already had all along? Oooh! I know a good plot for your comeback movie!
I just wanted to make sure you got this message, but I'll post it to his blog as well, or at least something similar. First, my comments were not completely directed only at you, though part of it, obviously, was. And I commend you for having gone and read the scripture! That's honest, and most of the people who have commented on our blogs lately have not really been very honest. I don't believe that Aaron meant that no one could pray for our leaders to see the error of their ways...I've done that a lot with our current president. So thank you for actually reading the passage.
Do you have any parts available for a hot little miss in your movie? I used to know a girl named Mandy Maravilla, but I haven't heard of her in a while. I think she's a little 'washed-up' by now - in fact, I heard she was living in Southwest Missouri. If she's lucky, she might share a theater with Andy Williams and Tony Orlando down in Branson. I'll do some research for you and see if she's still acting.
Well, I'm officially off the defensive for the next four years. And I can guarantee that I won't be as mean to the Dems as some of them have been to me.
And I'll have a respite from tv, movies, magazines, and just about every other form of media bashing the candidate that I voted for, which is nice.
On the other hand, our government will be entirely in the hands of Democrats, about which I'm not really sure how I feel.
Again, on the other hand (which would be the hand I started on, so the first hand again), maybe this is the perfect opportunity for me to slip into Hollywood while everybody's happy, make a few r0x0r movies, thus cementing my status as a much sought after commodity in the entertainment world, and shooting me to international superstardom.
On the other hand (back to the second hand people; stick with me) , if I make as much as any proper international superstar makes now... half of it will be taken away from me by the government.
But then, I didn't vote, so I can't really say anything.
I will wish our President-Elect all the best in his coming term, hope that he will meet the expectations of everyone who voted for him, and respect him as my Commander-in-Chief.
But...
Maybe we should all get together and make Alec Baldwin move out of the states now that there's a candidate he actually wants in the White House, since he didn't do it for the past two elections. You know. Just for kicks and giggles.
One more thing then you can leave, I promise...
As we marvel at our own magnificence for being an awesome enough country to elect a black President, I present two points:
1) If we were really over our country-as-a-whole racism act, would we really care that he's a black man?
2) As the inevitable (and already debuted) comparisons to our progress as a country since the Emancipation Proclamation 145 years ago arise, I beg to call to light the man who issued that proclamation. Abraham Lincoln. President, beard enthusiast, Republican.
Two things:
1)If you and Aubrey will still be in the ATL next Sunday morning(the 16th), y'all should come worship at Powers Ferry.
2)Yes, Abraham Lincoln was a republican; however, the shift in the political spectrum over the last 60 or so years has changed the Republican Party of Lincoln into the Democratic Party of today. Back in the 50s and 60s, blacks voted Republican because that was the party of Lincoln. When LBJ(Democrat) signed into law the Voting Rights Act of 1964 and the Civil Rights Act of 1965(or vice versa), he completely alienated the Southern voters, who were Democrat. Just a little FYI:)
If you feel like watching the award-winning movie Fistful of Bullets (which I had the pleasure of being involved with), do it. Okay. Maybe if you don't feel like, you should do it anyway. Seriously. Do it. Now.
