So, I spent nearly an hour typing up the second part of “The Journey” and it mysteriously vanished….
Leaving Edinburgh was pretty hard for me since I had worked so long and so hard to get there and our time there seemed to fly by, but there was much more of the world that I was intend on seeing so my faithful companions and myself hopped a train to Inverness. The train ride over there was interesting since I forced myself to be extroverted and talk to people. One of the more interesting people I met on the train was a Scot named Ross. Over many (many) rounds of rummy we talked at length about our mutual wanderlust and he told me how he was going home from his latest adventures being a free lance snowboard instructor in the French Alps and went from lodge to lodge (I was jealous). Once we arrived in Inverness it was about midnight and we decided we needed a little extra cash just to see us through the next couple of days. Unfortunately the ATM wasn’t feeling very generous at that point and we had to make due with what we had. But hey, where’s the adventure in having money and knowing you have somewhere to sleep in a strange town when the temperature is below freezing? Now, Inverness, unlike the other cities we had been to thus far, did not have maps and whatnot as far as the eye could see so I had to employ the “word on the street” method of finding places. Luckily one of the girls I had talked to on the long ride was actually from Inverness and I asked her where the hostel was. Now, if you know me, you know that I have a really bad habit of asking a question and not really listening to the answer. All I really wanted was verification that there was in fact a hostel and what general direction I could find it in. So, I smiled and nodded at the information as most of it went in one ear and out the other. I did appreciate her advice though. Her name was Cassie…she was a gem. My friends and I walked through the silent streets of this town hearing only the echoes of our own voices and in amazement that almost everything was closed. To my knowledge this town has about 40,000 people and it’s fairly compact so I expected to see people on the streets at night and whatnot. Eventually we found the hostel and we got situated before we hit the streets again. Upon further investigation we found that Inverness too had fallen victim to the invasion of Indian and Chinese food, but at that point we didn’t care…Stephen even actually learned to like Indian food, which in itself is amazing seeing as how Stephen’s preferred flavor is bland. I really liked the look of this city because it has a river bisecting the town into a north and a south side connected only by 2 bridges probably 300 yards apart….it gave it a really old time feel coupled with the stone streets (in certain parts). After dinner we stopped off in a pub to hear a little jazz band play and that’s where I met a girl with the most beautiful blue eyes. They were of the deepest blue I have ever seen. It was as if someone had carefully placed sapphires in small orbs of the whitest marble. We talked for a little while and it turned out that she worked in the theatre in Edinburgh. We continued to talk until she and her friend said they were going upstairs to dance. At first I took this as a letdown, but in retrospect I think she was actually asking me to go too due to her hesitation to go…..but my density knows no bounds.
The next morning we asked our hostel hostess however unhostile (alliteration! Huzzah!) how to get to Loch Ness. She said we could go one of 2 ways and the first option was to take about a 10 mile hike with her and the rest of the backpackers…..or we could find our own way. Not being one to miss out on instant gratification I chose the latter. After hitting the ATM (which then worked thankfully), we saw (in the daylight) a hostel right next to where we got off the train. Oh well…our way was more fun.
We flagged down a taxi and immediately regretted it. I’m pretty sure this guy had recently escaped from the local sanitarium and had hijacked some poor taxi driver. His body language was sketchy, his eyebrow hair was about an inch and a half long, he seemed to have no soul when I looked into his eyes and I just really didn’t like the way he said “Drumnadrochit?.....Yeeeeeesssss” while cocking his head back and forth as if he had some sort of twitch. Fifteen minutes later we were dropped of at a post office which looked to me to be in the middle of nowhere, but we gladly said goodbye to the driver. Personally I said a prayer for the real driver who I’m sure was locked in the trunk and awaiting certain demise. We asked for directions and started off to the next hostel where we found a little Scottish woman running the place. She was happy to hear that we were American because “Americans clean up after themselves unlike those Muslims who can’t touch the same toilet seat as ‘infidels’ (I’m sure this makes cleaning the bathrooms fun) and who (lesser known fact) leave pasta sauce all over the stove”. We asked her what there was to do and she said we could go to Castle Urquhart or go to Crag Monie, but if we waited till night time we could sneak into the castle for free. So, we took her advice and climbed to the top of Crag Monie, which was supposedly the site where a famous Viking raider was hung by the villagers. At the top there was a nice view of the lake and a good knoll for sitting. We made our way back to the hostel where other backpackers had arrived and I’m pretty sure they were from the United Nations of Beautiful Women. There were girls from Belgium, Spain, and Germany. I was particularly fond of the Belgian though I couldn’t for the life of me begin to spell her name. When the Sun went down we started making our way to the ruins of castle Urquhart and evidently it was a national monument of some sort. Well we snuck in to the castle and started climbing on everything and taking pictures when all of a sudden I was headlights coming down the parking lot. Of course my first instinct was “Crap, the last thing I need is to get arrested for trespassing on a foreign national monument”. So, my friends and I began what is probably the only storming out of the castle. We snuck down to the water’s edge on the back side of the castle where we felt anyone who may be looking couldn’t see us and began to army crawl around the ridge and down through the moat and eventually escaping though tunnels made in the brush by sheep. I’m not sure if there was any sort of law enforcement up there, but I feel thoroughly justified in our escape tactics. When we got back to the hostel we were sitting around the hearth with the girls and I was playing guitar and we were all having a great conversation. Being the man of the world that I am and having a sincere interest in other cultures I had a great question, however being around the beautiful women must have given me a speech impediment because my question came out something like “So, how’s your racism?” asked as if their’s could not top ours. This drew much playful scrutiny, but what I meant to say was “Is racism in your respective countries as big of a problem as it is in ours?” Miss Germany had a lot to say unsurprisingly…..Shortly thereafter it was time to go to bed and evidently the Midwestern girl in my room snores as loud as I do…
The next morning when we were about to leave the lady that ran the place actually offered me a job playing guitar every night during the summer. I had to refuse for the time being, but it was nice to know that I could and that maybe I will one day.
We headed back to Inverness to catch a train to Edinburgh and then down to London. I was leaving my beloved Scotland, but only in the name of adventure.
Seriously. You had my adrenaline pumping during the escape from Castle Urquhart. I also laughed at the "United Nations of Beautiful Women". Keep it coming.
I feel as though you didn't do justice to our daring escape from the Keep. That was a full scale james army crawl, cliff hanging, loch ness wading, sheep tunneling, and motion sensor avoiding experience.
Eh. Probably not until March. Ok, wait...did bebop959 mean to say "james army crawl..." or did he/she mean to say "James Bond" because if the sole james was intentional...I feel honored.
So, my best and I were reminiscing about our trip over seas the other day and I realized I haven't told most of you about it yet...sorry Jason this will just be a refresher for you! I also do this to see what I remember of the trip...if it gets a bit "wordy"....I apologize.
Sometime in February 2008:
My best friend Jason, my friend Stephen and I embarked on a journey that would take us across the pond and to great fortune...well, okay, not so much fortune, but it sounded nice. We left Huntsville on what can only be described as a biscuit can ready to pop on our way to Washington D.C. (taco neck anyone?) before we hopped on an ENORMOUS jet bus for our transatlantic flight to Frankfurt Germany. I saw my first German sunrise at 36,000 feet and even though it was through a small plane window it was breathtaking! We initially were going to have a four hour layover which we had intended to use sightseeing a bit, but due to delays we only had a couple of hours (I would learn throughout the trip that you should never need to be anywhere the day that you intend to leave). Seeing that it was about 7 o'clock in the morning Deutsche time I thought it would be great to get some authentic German breakfast, so after fighting my way through customs with my steel-toe boots and getting what would be the first of many (many) Euros from my bank account we hopped a train headed for the heart of Frankfurt. When we got out it was cold (like I like it) and sunny, and oddly devoid of anything German (aside from the people). Barak Obama's face was plastered all over everything and there was no authentic German food to be found...evidently Indian food has replaced all restaurants in Germany so far as we could tell (this would be a trend....I suppose this is why the spice trade was so important). Eventually we found a small cafe where they had fresh pastries and very unaccommodating seats. We had our food and realized we should start heading back, so we "Danced" the Frau and headed back to the station. Now, logic would tell you that the train that brought you from one direction, could in fact take you back where you came from....*rrrrrrrkkkkk* (logic train has now derailed)....alas due to trial and error we found this was not the case....did I tell you none of us speak German....or read German...or regularly use trains?....Luckily English is the best language and anyone who counts also speaks it, so we eventually got some help and made it back to the airport with mere moments to spare.
From Frankfurt we flew to Edinburgh...one of the most sinister looking cities I have ever been to. Not that the people were unpleasant (as a matter of fact they were very nice...and much shorter than I had imagined....I didn't find my equal in all of Scotland) But the architecture was such that one could imagine how stories like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde could be conceived. The entire city seemed to be made of stone, with eons of weather and soot to give it character. The first building to catch my eye looked like an evil spire of some sort strait out of some fantasy novel, which upon investigation was a monument to Sir Walter Scott. The city was literally dotted with monuments to great writers and famous sons of Scotland. One could throw a stone in any direction and hit something that has some sort of historical significance. Eventually we made our way to our first hostel and took a brief nap before heading out on the town. Being a large man, my first quest was to acquire sustenance...so we looked for somewhere with the grail of Scottish cuisine...HAGGIS! I'll tell you this, if it's good enough for Sean Connery, it's good enough for you! I for one enjoyed my Haggis 'neeps and tatties (haggis with mashed turnips and potatoes). We wandered the city noting its many cathedrals that seemed all but abandoned, distilleries, and ancient roman ruins. At one point I approached Edinburgh castle only to be met with a man in fatigues wielding an m-16 automatic rifle. He was accommodating and let us know when we could tour the place...and his body language let us know that we could leave...promptly haha. So, the next day we toured the castle and got to see the Scottish crown jewels...a golden scepter and crown, a longsword so big that only a man my size or better could wield it, and the Stone of Destiny. Now the Stone of Destiny is important in that all or the prehistoric kings of Pictland (which would become
Scotland after the Irish Scots merged the thrones under Kenneth MacAlpin in about 843) were crowned on this very stone. The English had stolen it, but eventually it made its way back. The legend goes that this was the stone that Jacob used as his pillow in the story of "Jacob's Ladder" however, I doubt this seeing as how it probably weighs in the neighborhood of 800 pounds. After that we did all the cliché things (shop for souvenirs and look at kilts). At one point I nearly lost a good friend due to him calling into question my Scottishness! (Jason...haha). After a little more sightseeing we made our way to the station to go to Inverness because we all had a date with a well known lass named....Nessie.....
So I set up a bed for an older gentleman the other day....after having exchanged pleasantries I went into the other room with the caregiver and proceeded to get my paperwork done......eventually I asked for the diagnosis.....and in the thickest jamaican accent she replied..."uh...tub-er-cu-som-ting"
so, I went for a TB test today....results Friday.....
i'm not so sure you want a 2 year old in your apartment :P plus she's grouchy with a fever, so take your chances if you want to :P i don't know what will is doing this weekend but he might be able to come over tomorrow night or sunday night, or you and jason can come over instead. i'll tell will to call you...which means, you'll just have to give in and call him tonight or tomorrow afternoon if you want a definite answer lol
For all who don't know, in my job I essentially prolong life via oxygen and I occasionally have to check the equipment through which said oxygen is dispensed..........
Yesterday I called up a patient that I had seen once or twice before, but this visit would not be quite like the others. I called him up to see if I could come check his oxygen concentrator to make sure that it was working properly. Knowing that he was an old man, I let what he said next slide right off my back, thinking he was simply confused. He said "I have to take my pants off, but come on up"....And I just assumed he was confused thinking that he meant to say "I need to put my pants on, but come on up".....However, I got to the door, which was already opened for me and there, so frantically slung was a pair of blue jeans and to the left was the man who so recently occupied them. He was slouched over, was wearing two diamond stud earrings and had on a shirt and boxers (with no button!) and he said "come on in". So I just went about my work until he started asking questions. First he commented that I looked like I had lost some weight. "I don't know about all that, but thank you" I replied. But he kept on insisting that I had lost weight, which I responded to by saying "Well I trimmed my beard so maybe that had something to do with it....". "Ooooo son, you sure got that beard looking sharp" he said.
*Bleep (goes the gaydar)
At about this point he had begun to lounge on his bed watching me do my work. He then asked me if I was married. "No sir, I'm only 22 and I hardly have any time to look for a good GIRL right now" I said.
It was about this time that I noticed on the wall what looked to be a picture of him and his wife. Thus a wave of relief came over me and I just thought he was a quirky/weird old man.
Once my work was completed I had him sign the papers and as he was handing them back to me he asked again if I was married. "No sir" I said. And as sure as there were Depends in the corner he said this........"Well big boy, if you ever wanna take a walk on the wild side, let me know, cause I'LL TEAR IT UP!"
I fled like Joseph from Potifer's house.......except with my clothes on....and laughing hysterically!
Oh, and today I went to the Pompeii exhibit in Birmingham....go if you can
