If there's one thing I hate about my job- no, make that one thing I hate about my life- it's my commute to work. Let's be honest: I live in a big, big city, I drive allllll the way from the north east to the south west side of said city to get to work, and so therefore I am going to run into some stupid drivers along the way. Today, however, I was very thankful that I did not have any weapons in my car that might have tempted me to do nasty things, and also thankful that Mary just taught me the technique of repeating "Jesus loves _______ too" to myself until I believe it.
I pulled out of my neighborhood headed toward US-281. Along the way it is 45 mph. I found myself behind a driver who was going no more than 25 mph. That's right. 25 mph. Not only that, but he was on a cell phone, and weaving around the road like crazy. This is only a two lane road, so that's kind of a poor idea. Riding the guy's bumper did nothing to increase his awareness of his incredibly slow pace and bad driving. As we approached the Longest Light in the World, I could see that it was green. I hoped that he would see it and go faster. No no, he put his brakes on. For a green light. Aaaaaaaand it turned red. You have to understand that my goal every day is to beat the Longest Light in the World because if I do not, it increases my commute by three minutes. Yes, I have this timed.
The light finally changed, and I zoomed angrily around him past the intersection where it opens into two lanes each direction. A couple miles later, while approaching the Second Longest Light in the World, I realized there was a very large 18 wheeler up in front of me with a pickup truck in front of it. Since the Second Longest Light in the World (which is at US-281) only allows a few cars through at a time, and cars- for whatever reason- tend to mosey through this light, allowing very few cars behind it to get through as well, I wanted to beat the truck. I hurried past it and settled in behind the pickup truck. And of course, on cue, the pickup truck slowed down, and decided to let several cars turn in front of it near the light, causing us to miss the light.
It's true. Every driver on Evans Road is conspiring to see JUST how angry they can make me before I slam my soccer-mom SUV into the back of them while shrieking like a banshee.
About the time that I turn on my loudest, angriest music to drown out some of my adrenaline, I start speeding (I know, I know) down 281 to hopefully make up the 7 min I am now behind in my morning commute. I get to the ramp from 281 to 410, and someone decides halfway onto the ramp that they did not want to be on the ramp, slams on their breaks, and veers across the two lanes to get back on 281, all on wet pavement. This of course causes all the cars behind this car to go flying in all directions to avoid it, including me. Have I mentioned that I am extraordinarily thankful for my anti-lock brakes?
I finally got to work, gathered up the armloads of stuff I'm carrying in to my office, got up to the door, and realized that somewhere in the parking lot I had dropped my badge (which allows me access to the building). I found it in a puddle.
Oh, and I forgot my lunch.
But Jesus loves me, and Jesus loves the drivers in front of me. |
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