Post bear encounter, my mind has been considering fate and the upcoming day of my death.
3 Weeks ago, I realized that October 22 would be the day I was fated to die. By God's grace, I had narrowly missed my end with the bear, only to face the 22nd. Two major tests, Two Construction Law Case Review papers, 14 Article reviews, WKU Police department renovation documents, 3d models, hand renderings ready for presentation to the Chief of Police and company due on the 22nd. Every day, the toll of oncoming death sounded in my head- the 22nd. An ulcer errupted, my eyes unfocused, I dreamt every night of a new way to die: stabbing, cancer, brain tumor, overdose of iron...the 22nd.
The 22nd arrives. Everything is working out. My presentation is pushed back two days, I remember that I can drop one of my tests if I need to, I'm starting to feel the horrible settling that reminds me that I am no longer a good student, that I need these miraculous breaks for things to work.
And then- snatches of conversations, gunmen? swat? rumors...4 men in black with guns, shots on main campus, a standoff, what's going on???? Then the lockdown. Administration telling us that the gunfight has moved to main campus. Our teacher plans a contingency route to a secure location 'cause our classroom (which we are locked in) is not very secure- huge glass windows and all. a wailing siren starts, WKU is sending out emergency text messages.
WHAT?
"Due to unconfirmed altercations on campus, the Chief of the WKU police will be unable to attend the presentation of Studio II police department renovations."
WHAT????
"Due to confirmed instability of campus, all classes including those two tests you were going to have to take for which you had not studied enough, are canceled."
WWWHAAAATTTTT????????
"Everything is pushed to various days next week. Everyone has more time, everyone has classes off, thus more time to get all their work done."
HOW DO THINGS WORK OUT LIKE THIS??????
Someone once presented to me the Theory of the Golden Bubbles. Some people are golden bubbles, walking through life without a care in the world, never facing disasters, never "going through some rough times." Though everyone has bad things happen, I do think is seems that some people are protected from disaster, unaware of the darker side of life. I have various misadventures that provide my life with diversion and a plentiful supply of amusing anecdotes, but today has confirmed a long standing suspicion in my head, that though I seem to always have disaster looming- it NEVER CRASHES. My path is never derailed, my troubles all resolve themselves, sometimes even before they can come to fruition. Take October 22nd. The day I was going to die, I was saved by a gunman....or 4 gunmen....or maybe 2 men with uzzies.
Epilogue- Now on to consider the ramifications. I already thank God for giving me a life free of concern, for confirming my trust in him on a daily basis, but what is the darker side of this blessing? Does this mean that I lean to heavily upon others to save me? That my life is really just a helpless burden on others? Or that God knows I couldn't handle disaster, so he doesn't give it to me? Overanalysis of this situation should keep me occupied until the next disaster looms...and is miraculously dispelled.
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