Lately, I find my mind drawn time and again to the subject of relationships. And I mean relationships in general and not just between God and man or man and his Christian brethren. I guess I keep coming back to this subject because I see so many couples walking around campus that it’s hard to not consider it on a daily basis. Either way, this is the subject of my post tonight.
I wonder how often people look at the person who is the subject of their forlorn heart’s affections and say to themselves, “I don’t deserve them. They’re too good of a person for someone like me. I don’t match up.” I know that I have had this thought a time or two in the past. I considered them to be a gift I was unworthy of having.
Someone to share your life in such a way is, I think, a gift, and one that we probably don’t deserve at times. The fact remains, however, that God gives us that gift. I wonder how many of us regard the people in our lives in that light.
Consider for a moment our salvation. There is no question that it is a gift from God that we do not deserve. The reason we have it though, besides the mercy of God that is, is because we were willing to say to our Lord, “I will dedicate my life to you to live by your statues and bring glory to you. I will work everyday to earn this gift of salvation you’ve given me.” Now, granted, we never truly earn that gift, but the important point I want to make is that we TRY! We devote our lives to God to live as purely as we possibly can. We strive to live a life as pure as the life Christ lived two thousand years ago.
What, then, does it mean to be worthy of the people, these gifts, God has put into your life? Think about it. What normally goes on in a relationship, friendship or otherwise? Mutual support and encouragement, selflessness and sacrifice, companionship, trust, and more. Are all of these things flowing down a one way street? Look at God, he gives salvation to us. He blesses us, looks after us, guides us, and gives to us. In all ways things work together for our good (Romans 8:28). In turn, our lives and bodies are to be a sacrifice to him(Romans 12:1-2). Does that look like a one way street to you? We can't expect to take and give nothing in return in any kind of relationship.
This is a far-reaching principle. How often do we treat the relationships we have with our wives, husbands, girlfriends, boyfriends, friends or even our parents in a selfish manner? How often do we treat them as a gift from God that we should strive to earn?
I’d like to think that if God was gracious enough to me to put in my life someone who is so dear to me I’d crave the chance to spend the rest of my life on this earth with her, that I would do my best every day to be worthy of that gift, to be worthy of her. Is my relationship with my parent’s one of take, take, take, or do I show them how much I love and appreciate their efforts to raise me to be the best person I can be? Do I listen to my friends when they have problems they need to talk about, or do I shun them unless I am the one who needs to do the talking?
Any relationship that is one way in nature will not last. There can be no fulfillment with selfishness. In Ephesians 5:25, it is written, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her...” (Ephesians 5:25) The nature of the marriage relationship is one of sacrifice on the part of the husband. Like Christ, he is to give himself up for her benefit, her sanctification. The relationship is one of selfless giving of the part of the husband.
As it stands, this is were the post ends. It is incomplete... I've run dry on thoughts, and I'm not sure what verse would be comparable to Ephesians 5:25 for women. Titus 2:3-6 has been suggested by one person. Either way, I plan to add on to this post to talk more about friendship in particular.
Whatever you guys can give me in the way of constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated. Also, please point out to me anything that may be questionable as it is two in the morning and I may have missed something.
Hey, Mike! Thanks for being such an amazing friend the past few days, you have been a great encouragement to me. If there's anything I can do for you, please let me know :)
These are very good thoughts. I think it's only natural for us to be unappreciative toward our parents. However, the Christian is to not do things as the world or humans would do them, but as God would. And we know that Jesus honored Joseph and Mary. Also, I wish more people wouldn't wait until they're in a relationship to make sacrifices. We girls talk a lot about striving to be godly not only for God, but also so that we will be good and honorable wives for our future husbands (if that is God's will for us). There's a verse (and I can't think of where it is at the moment) that talks about husbands as treating their wives as a priceless treasure, but on the flip side wives need to act in a manner worthy of that treatment.
You're right--there are the people we feel like we have to impress so they'll deign to befriend us, but we can treat the friends we already have (esp. our family) so cruelly.
And it does all boil down to selfishness. We feel like we deserve to be treated, so whenever someone mistreats us in any way, we get hurtful and defensive. What we fail to realize is that we are servants to everyone--to friends, family, strangers, and God. We don't deserve anything, because we're only servants. My existence is to be centered around how I can better others' lives, not my own.
It can be hard, though. "Familiarity breeds contempt" is true of all the blessings we have, from our friends, family, country, all the way up to our salvation.
Aside from Proverbs 31:10 which says that the worth of a virtuous wife is far above rubies, there is also Proverbs 12:4 that says that an excellent wife is the crown of her husband. As for relationships, just as Genesis 3:18 tells us that God determined that it was not good for man to be alone so he needed a companion. But God also said she would be a helper comparable (suitable) to him. I do not get the sense that the passage is talking about a woman who just helps him out with things like holding the nails while he hammers (although that is certainly appropriate as well), not just someone he gets along with and enjoys being with, but also someone who complements him, brings out the best in him. That would certainly make her a "crown" to him. I enjoyed reading your comments. Very good thinking about this subject. True lifelong love is not romance and roses, but always seeing the good in our mates even when they are at their worst.
Heylo, Mr. Bacci! I keep thinking about the comment you made the other day -- something about decisions we make based off of what we we are taught vs. what we find in scripture. I can't remember if we ever really delved into that discussion... anyways, it's really intrigued me. I hope you think about it some more, cause I'd really like to discuss it further! Have a good night, but don't stay up too late ;-)
Haha! You should have been warned! You saw Charli hand me the book! lol! I have not been dreaming about Jacob, so does that mean I'm still safe?
Christmas break has been great! -- Yesterday we kids went to Nana and Granddad's to make christmas cookies with her. Today I am about to go to play some basketball with the highschool and college peoples. Tonight my Aunt, Uncle, and little cousins should be in town so we are all going to Nana and Granddad's for lasagna!
Tomorrow if the roads aren't bad, we have church -- if they are, we will probably have one afternoon service.
How are you?! Are you going to be able to make it up here any time soon?
Ooh! FYI: We four (Me, Brittany, Jonathan, and Samuel) will be in DC on Monday. Want to meet us in town and tour around with us (after our eye appointments). Stephen R was thinking about coming with us -- I'm supposed to remind him about it though so I don't know what he is thinking.
Hey, thanks! :) So... it's been a month since you've posted what's been in your head. Have any additional ingredients to stir into the great pot of spiritual stew? O.o
I'd like to write an article or just meditate on being content with what God has given me/us/you. Does anyone have a suggestion on how I should proceed about this? Things like verses, personal stories, any sort of stuff like that will be a great help. I could use the input, thanks!
Being content makes me think of when Paul and Silas (was it Silas?) were singing even though they were in jail. And when Jesus tells us not to worry because God has taken care of the flowers and birds so He'll certainly care for us. I like those verses, though I am so bad about knowing BCV...
Wow. This is a huge struggle for me, nearly every day. Though, I have come to a valuable conclusion about what being content means. i think that to a large extent, being content is rooted in how much we worry. And worry at different points can be selfish. I have to work very hard at keeping in perspecive what things in life I actually need (food, clothing, shelter) and what things I want (things, friends, a spouse, if the Lord wills). perhaps we allow the things that we want in life to cloud our perception of what is really important.
So, to sum up, I would say that being content is having the realization that the ONLY THING we all really need is salvation in Christ. And after that, everything we have, and I mean everything, is simply a plus and should make us all the more grateful for what we do have. I see all the physical blessings around me and I am amazed that God thought to give me any of it. If we think about contentment in that light, it makes me feel so blessed to have all the blessings that I do. I hope that this helps! :)
I think peace of mind is very important when it comes to contentment. It's similar to what Heidi was saying -- once we control our worry, we'll more easily be able to control contentment.
Something else that helps me personally, is the constant reminder that I am first and primarily a tool for God to use. When things aren't going my way, per se, I still know that they are going God's way... so even though I may be hurt, dissapointed, or frustrated because of a lack of contentment, I can still look at the situation somewhat objectively and realize that this is simply the way God needs and wants to use me right now. Knowing what Christ has done for me, helps me to be willing to suffer a little discontentment for God.
In my experience, contentment is not necessarily related to worry. For example, I went through I period of time where I was very discontented with being in Idaho. I was so unhappy with the church and lack of spiritual support, and like minded people, that I had this constant feeling in my gut that made me just want to scream. I wasn't really worried about anything, I just didn't want to be here anymore. I wanted to move back to Phoenix, so I looked into it, only to realize that it would be immpossible for me to move anywhere at that point in time because of health insurance. That made it even worse. I was very unhappy for quite a while. A few months maybe. And people kept telling me that God must want me in Idaho for a reason and it must not be part of his plan for me to leave, but that didn't help. In fact it irritated me. I had to come to that realization on my own, and I did evenutally. And I have things worked out to a certain extent. But it still flares up once in a while, where I will just have a day here or there I am angry and irritated because I just want out. So for me being content is not something that comes easily. It can be a struggle.
Hi, I'm her mother. Was clicking on people that had replied to her post. Even though you wrote this a while back, two verses came to mind that I thought I'd send along: Isaiah 40:28-31 and Hebrews 4:16. these passages mean a great deal to me, especially in our harried world where a problem seems to be lurking around every corner (and Satan most definitely is). But we can find peace, happiness, and contentment nonetheless and these verses encourage that.
I feel the need to start this post off with a disclaimer. I talk about some things that some of you may rather not read, so this is your fair warning!
Back home in Texas I have a friend, we’ll call her Annie. When we first met she was a smiling, loving, fun Christian girl who loved the Lord. That changed.
I won’t overly delve into the details, but here’s the overview. It all started with her boyfriend, we’ll call him Sammie. All of her friends, myself included, knew this guy was bad for her. He had a sordid history concerning his purity with girls, and we warned her, practically begged her, to not date him. She didn’t listen.
In my opinion, this was the start of a very long downward spiral. In the end, almost all of the people she called friends are no longer involved in her life (I think I’m the only survivor), she no longer attends services, and she drifted away from God. She was so wrapped up in this guy that she would cry constantly about the hurt he caused her.
She would come to me asking for advice. I always told her the same thing, “Break up with him!” Alas, she never listened. To cut to the chase, she gave up her virginity to him, after she found out he had cheated on her. He left her less than a year later to go to college.
I tell this story to illustrate a point which the bible states more clearly than I can manage. “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company ruins good morals’”(1 Corinthians 15:33).
In the beginning Annie only spent some of her time with Sammie. She still had plenty of contact with us, her Christian friends. But now this guy had been given a special place among us. To her, he had a higher value than the rest of us. He was on a pedestal in other words.
In the following months she became a smaller and smaller part of our circle of friends and a larger part of his. She associated herself with the immoral, irreverent, and the profane. These things became her friends not because we, those trying to follow God’s ways, had abandoned her, but because she chose to become friends with them. These things slowly, inevitably corrupted her. She was warped so much that when I confronted her, telling her what she was doing was wrong, that it was against God’s word she said this, “I don’t care, it just feels too good!”
She was caught up in selfish abandon. Seeking to put herself first in all things. Looking back, I find it hard to believe she still even liked her boyfriend, but that she was still with him because of the sex. She was corrupted.
Now here is the worst part. Sammie is someone who claims to be a Christian. In fact, he’s even attended Florida College. I’m letting you know that to prove another point. Just because we’re here at FC doesn’t mean we’re safe from the outside world. In some ways I think we make ourselves more vulnerable. If we get too comfortable here and let our guard down, if we trust blindly or stupidly, we could be in for trouble.
I have had a similar experience. There were some people I had started to hang around once upon a time. They were fun people, one was even the son of an Elder. Surely they were Godly people, right? Well, they looked like it, and they went to services, but when they were on their own they were different. They jested coarsely. They displayed themselves immodestly, and they began to rub off on me. I noticed one day that I had begun to compromise on my beliefs and convictions. That was the day that I stopped hanging out with them.
The moral of these stories is that you need to choose your friends carefully, because whether you know it or not, they have a lot of influence on you. Satan will take any chance he can get to make you slip, even it that slip is so tiny you don’t even notice at first. After enough of these “unnoticeable” slips, you will have fallen and you may not even realize it, Annie didn’t and neither did I.
Remember, “Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God” (James 4:4).
Thanks for reading,
Bacci
P.S.
Don’t forget to comment with any constructive criticism you may have for this post. Thanks guys!
Good post. There was a man I grew up around who was like a second father to me and was a deacon who turned out to be a completely different man than we thought he was. It still hurts. But it reminded me that sometimes people who we put so much trust in can have us completely fooled.
Excellently said. I'm sure your experiences in the past have only made you learn and have helped you become a stronger person, no matter how bad they have been.
Good post. My best friend here in Idaho is dating a non christian and scares me to death. But I am having a really hard time talking to her about it. But I feel like I need to. She has grown up being taught that it is okay to date and marry non christians. So by telling her it is wrong and against God's word I am laying blame on her grandmother, her mother and her two sisters who all married non Christians.
Thanks Mike for a very insightful and mature post. One of the hard things that can happen is the way the "Sammies" of the world come into the flock of God. Just like we are warned "wolves in sheeps clothing" and yet our vulnerability can be protected when we daily spend time with God - studying His Word so much that His Words are ours and praying daily, steadily, always. Thank you very much.
"As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend." Proverbs 27:17
I really learned the meaning of this verse today.
For the past week, I've been struggling with some personal problems. I've been growing more and more impatient. I've been growing impatient to go out into the world and start to do the Lord's work. The feeling of stagnancy has been growing. There is such a big part of me that wants to show God's love to the world and to encourage as many people as I can. Well, since I can't engage in the ministries or encouragement activities I wanted to, frustration grew.
My friend, a wonderful person who shall be the anonymous heroine in this post, is in the same position. She told me how she has these gifts from God that, in my opinion, will make her such an effective tool to spread his word on the other side of the world, but that she feels He doesn't want her to go, at least not just yet.
She could truly empathize with me on this. She pointed out to me all the gifts and opportunities to grow that God has given me. I have the chance to attend any number of Bible studies and devotional services to increase my knowledge of the Word. So many chances to become a more effective tool for His work.
I'm reminded of Daniel 9:20-27. Another friend of mine used this example in a sermon on how God answers prayers. I look at that now and think, "Wow, God may be making me wait for the answer to my prayers, and He is giving me a chance to draw closer to Him while I wait."
Even as I write this I'm thinking of all the opportunities I have here to engage in ministries similar to the ones I so desire to pursue. All I can say when I think of that is that He has provided me with the means to not be frustrated from the wait I endure. In fact, I can help grow His kingdom and give glory to His name right here in good 'ol Tampa.
The Bible says in James 1:2-4, "My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing."
This impatience is a trial that must be overcome, and by being patient I am coming closer to being "perfect and complete."
If any of you are feeling that itch like me and my friend, just remember that the Lord works all things out in His own time. Be patient, draw closer to God, look around you to see what you can do to fulfill His commandments, and wait on the Lord.
great thoughts, mike. i've never really paid that much attention to that passage in daniel before; it's encouraging! it's easy to be so focused on a desired destination and looking for shortcuts to get there that we miss the opportunities God places on the road. thanks for the reminder to have patience :)
Mike, those were good thoughts! This past weekendend I have been impatient with life in general. IT's so easy to see life as just an earthly, phsyical timeline of sorts... there's a spiritual battle going on, but oh how hard it is to see that sometimes.
I suppose one of my biggest challenges is realizing that God needs soldiers even in the most mundane situations (like the forever normal routine of college life). Anyways, I think that if we have an opened mind, and a giving heart, God will use us, and even wear us out with all His work :) I thank God for you and your sacrificial heart, and I pray that He will open doors for you :)
Thank you for that. I know in the past year+, I've been impatient with God, waiting for a specific something to happen, which has not yet. But the more I've prayed and studied, I've realized that God has my best interests @ heart, and things will work out according to His time...which is infinitely better than my own feeble planning. I'm starting write like Paul the Apostle...run-on sentences:)
I want to start this post by bringing up behavior. The bible tells us so much about how our behavior glorifies God and identifies us as His children.
Matthew 5:44 tells us to, among other things, "do good to those who hate you" so that we might sons of our Father in heaven."
James 2:17-18 tells us that without these works our faith is dead.
Matthew 7:16 states "You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?" Our actions are incredibly important to our salvation. By our actions others recognize us as Christians, as people who are apart from the world. By our actions we glorify the God who created us and redeemed us.
This brings me to my main point for this post: Matthew 5:33-37. Jesus says in these verses "Again you have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform your oaths to the Lord.' But I say to you, do not swear at all: neither by heaven, for it is God's throne: nor by the earth, for it is His footstool; nor by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. Nor shall you swear by your head, because you cannot make one hair white or black. But let your 'Yes' be ‘yes,’ and your 'No,' be 'No.' For whatever is more than these words is from the evil one."
As I understand from Matthew 23:16-22 the scribes and Pharisees had gotten a little unreliable with their oaths. People were making distinctions by saying that if they swore by one thing they were obligated to perform what they swore, but if they swore by something else they may not be obligated to perform. Jesus makes the whole matter simple by cutting out the oaths and telling us to be honest to our words. If we say we'll do something we should do it, it glorifies God!
Think about it. If a person was prone to going back on their word and being generally unreliable, who would trust that person? If they promised to keep a secret or be somewhere at a certain time, or if they promised to help you out somehow but didn't show, would you trust that person? Personally, if I was in that situation I would feel like they were lying to me every time they went back on their word. I wouldn't even try to rely on that person after being let down so many times. Could I turn to them for help with homework, with manual labor, with spiritual things? After enough times of being lied to, I don't think I'd trust them. If you were that person, would you like it if people thought of you as unreliable, untrustworthy, or dishonest?
Turning this thought toward you who are reading. Are you a person whose "Yes," is "Yes," or do others question if you'll come through on your promises? Do those around you trust you to help them in their times of need?
Now, to point number 2:
This part is mainly for those of us who are students at Florida College because I know it's relevant to all of us. This link leads to the online application for admission to this school. Look closely at the last few lines of text on that page. What do you see? I'll give you a hint, the text is bolded.
I don't know how many FC students who are reading this post have read the student code of conduct, but I know for a fact that before a single one of us could even apply to be admitted to this school we agreed, we gave our "Yes," that we would abide by the rules.
I know that some people regard those rules as too constrictive. For example, some people look at some of the rules in the dress code and disagree that certain styles or types of clothing are immodest. Some of those people then disregard that code. Others look at certain rules of conduct, but don’t hesitate to break them, thinking that their infractions are minor and of no consequence.
But the fact remains that it doesn't matter if I or you think that sleeveless shirts or pajama pants are no big deal, or that men can wear earrings. It doesn’t matter if one rule or the other seems inconsequential. None of that matters because we, as Christians, said that we would abide by those rules that were set upon us by the administration and faculty for as long as we were under their authority.
What does it say about us, as children of God, when we violate our own agreements. How are we showing our trustworthiness? How are we glorifying our God when our "Yes," becomes a "No."
"These six things the Lord hates, yes, seven are an abomination to Him: a proud look, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that are swift in running to evil, a false witness who speaks lies, and one who sows discord among brethren." Proverbs 6:16-19
I want to end this post with questions, feel free to answer if you want. Can God trust you to keep your word?
Wow. This is some pretty good stuff. It gives me such joy to see just how far you have come since I met you last semester!! You have done so much growing. Keep it up, my friend! Miss you!
This sums up a topic I've been hearing you talk about for the last few days. Good verse selections. You should preach, just....don't yell at the people.:)
Hi Mike. I've thought about this post, because she had told me about it and some of your discussions. As sad as of a comment it is on "society," "FC students and community," or anyone, submission and compliance to rules in a handbook, or more importantly, in God's Word, is often "up for interpretation" by many. And so many choose the rules to obey. We all have to make choices and some are hard. I pray I choose God's way over mine.
