Each of us lives in a metaphorical house which we have been building since our first conscious moment. All that we know and feel, and everyone we have ever met, contributes to our house's construction, appearance and usefulness. Periodic home improvements are often necessary as we grow and change. Renovations can alter the outward and inward appearance of a home and not only change how the house functions for the person living within, but also for visitors.
No two houses can be exactly the same. Communication with another individual allows us to share our homes with each other. The experience of opening ourselves to others helps us understand the differences and similarities between us...
When [two people] are able to accept and possibly understand what makes each of them special, they can visit the other's home and feel as though they belong.
- Michael Eric Hester
I love when I feel at home with someone else. It's an amazing feeling. I'm homesick...
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Well, I had fun, despite the fact that we lost...pretty bad. It was really interesting and was quite an experience. Commonwealth Stadium is really huge!!!
We marched into the stadium from the bus to the really confusing drumline cadence, lol. I can't count how many times I got out of step, haha. We had to walk through the UK tailgating, and within a few minutes of marching, we were cussed out over a loud speaker. And some crazy guy got all up in my face yelling at me and pointing at me. At one point, I thought he was going to hit me. I couldn't react though so I just kept going. He got up in face of the guy in front of me too and was yelling, "YOU'RE WEAK!!" over and over again, haha. I really don't like UK fans...or UK, but anyway...
We (the band) had many compliments on how well we did. We marched at half-time and were on TV. :) We rocked in front of 70,000+ people!!! :) I take consolation in the fact that our marching band is soooo much better than UK's...much consolation. We actually had a real show and play well! :D
I can now say that I've been on the actual field at UK. I even stood on the UK logo on the field! Not that I care that much (I hate UK! I cannot say that enough...), but I know many people think it's cool. I got to touch the goal posts too after the game, and I almost got to catch a football that they kicked after half-time when we were leaving the field. The kickers were warming up. There were some random EKU fans there who were yelling obscene things at us as we were leaving the field after half-time too. Not cool. Sore losers sitting in the UK section...lol. ;)
We had some good seats too! I was waving my red towel like crazy! Well, that is until it got stolen at half-time. >:\ That did not make me happy. And the game situation was extremely frustrating, and losing my towel didn't help that either. Coach Elson lost us the game, but I'm not going to muse over the game, because if I do, I won't stop, haha.
And some random stuff: The charter buses were nice. :) I also almost got run over by police on motorcycles! Twice! That was interesting. And I saw my high school principal playing cornhole with the WKU Friends & Alumni party/tailgating thing going on...that was weird. Everyone thought it was funny though. :) And a squirrel ran onto the field during the game! It was really funny. He got more yards than WKU did in the whole game... :/ We thought it could've been a sign that we were going to win, but I guess not, lol.
So, all in all, it was a very interesting day. Let's just say that I can't wait until the next home game when we're in front of our own crowd and they love us. :)
GO TOPS!!!
Note: UK fans, no offense. I've never liked UK. If you want to know why I don't like UK, just ask. I'm just a die-hard Tops fan!!!
There's nothing more irritating than having someone get up in your face while you are trying to march and do your job! I always loved performing infront of large crowds. :)
I had nails. And the last time I played spoons I drew blood... I can't imagine what I would do with forks. And it's not because I try. It's because when I get all hyped up like that, contact games are not a good idea ;)
What have I been up to since my last post? More of the same.
(Not in any order)
Church.
Practice.
School.
Woodwind Ensemble.
Eat.
Lessons.
Homework.
Marching/Symphonic Band.
Sleep.
Practice.
Oh, and did I mention playing my instrument any?
I play in two ensembles this Friday at the Student Recital, and the home opener for Western is this Saturday against Murray State. I'll be in the marching band!!! Should be fun! Come out and watch us dominate Murray and our awesome half-time show. ;)
So, in short, I'm really busy, but having fun. :)
A quote that's inspiring to me lately: "Never fear the result of your best effort" (Mike Kryzyzewski)
- Went to Band Camp last week at Western...and found out that I'm a horrible marcher. Atrocious. Embarrassingly horrific. And no one would explain to me the basics, so I pretty much embarrassed myself the first day and got lost while finding drill...lol. Wonderful impression on the first day of "college".
- My car died. On my dinner break. On the FIRST DAY of band camp. At the Sonic on Russelville Road. With 30 minutes before rehearsal. My parents came to pick me up, and I thought I didn't need my instrument, so I left it in my car...only to arrive at the practice field and realize that we did in fact need our instruments. So, my parents went back to my car to get my instrument. During rehearsal they went and got a new battery for my car and just parked in the parking lot for me to get later. Well, with my luck that day, it wasn't going to be so simple. I left my keys in my mom's car, and she was at a Ladies' Bible Study. So, she had to leave the Bible study to come and give me my keys so I could drive home. Needless to say, it was not a very good day. My parents did get some extra hugs though. ;)
- The next day didn't start of much better. I forgot my water bottle at home, so I had to stop and get some in the atrocious morning work traffic. I almost was involved in two accidents that morning within five minutes of each other, involving two differnt people. One just didn't see me and almost hit me. The second ran a red light (that had been red since we turned on to Scottsville Road) and almost got annihilated. The wreckage would've more than likely hit me as well. Then at lunch I spilled Dr. Pepper in my car (which I found more of today upon closer inspection...aka looking in the back floorboard...that I had missed). :/ Everything was alright after lunch though...and the rest of the week. :) It was fun...besides all that stuff, lol.
- Had my Symphonic Band audition Thursday...which I was pretty nervous about (as usual). It ended up going well though. Dr. Schallert, the new director of bands at Western (and the Symphonic Band conductor), sat in on my audition as well as Dr. Cipolla, the clarinet/saxophone professor (who is super nice). I played well, not perfect, but well, and Dr. Schallert asked me who I took private lessons with. I responded by saying no one. I told him that I worked with Mr. D some last year, but it wasn't formal lessons or anything. Then he just gave me this blank stare. I was so nervous. I had no idea whether that was a good stare or a bad stare, haha. Then he looks over at Dr. Cipolla and goes, "Wow." lol! He said I had really nice technique and amazing tone, but what stood out the most was my musicianship. I heard him wisper to Dr. Cipolla when I was getting out the sight reading piece, "She played her heart out." haha. He said he saw tremendous potential in me and that my audition was probably the best audition I could have as a freshman. He said it was his favorite audition of the day. :) "That was fun!" lol. That made me happy. :)
- Started school Monday. Had classes. Went well. Got out of all of my classes early. :) All my professors seem nice...with the exception of my English professor (who really isn't a "professor" because he doesn't have his doctorate), but he doesn't count. The music department rocks. End of discussion.
- Tuesday's classes went well too. Same as before. Had private lessons with Dr. Cipolla. Didn't play, just talked (about lessons, it was still relevant), lol. It was good though. :) I can already tell I'm going to learn a lot from him.
- Wednesday, my birthday, was interesting... I had an overall good day. :) One of my friends took me out to eat for lunch. :) But I also forgot my instrument for band practice (again...but this time I couldn't go get it) and noticed I had 3 flat tires in the church parking lot before church. :/ How that happens...don't ask me. How come everything tends to happen at once? Oh, and I got an iPhone...and some awesome strawberry cake my mom made. :D
- Friday, marching band rehearsal was cancelled, so I went and got my saxophone fixed and to visit at Greenwood before I got so busy I couldn't. I miss it so much there. Especially the band directors. :( And I miss my band buddies so much more than I realized. I just took them for granted. I never realized how much it meant to me to know that other people recognized me and at least knew me and my reputation...and cared for me. And appreciated me. I felt like I belonged. Don't get me wrong, the people at Western are super nice, nicer than I expected, but they don't know me or anything about me. I don't have any close friends there in the department. I don't quite belong. I'm still on the outside looking in. It's hard, but I'm making it.
Everything else went pretty well for the most part. I'm kinda lonely, but that's okay. Hopefully that'll change. It's just different from high school, and I'm still adjusting. So far though, not bad. Most everyone I've met seem to be good people at heart, even if they at times make not so wise decisions... I need to work on my time management skills though, lol. ;) We'll see how everything goes after this week. This week will be more of a "normal schedule" (and our Gospel Meeting btw, rocked...super encouraging and challenging).
Homework for the weekend:
- 1.5 page English paper due Wednesday about another classmate we "interviewed"...easy...but not when they don't email you back the answers to your questions
- 3 pieces of music to learn and play well by Tuesday for private lessons (AHH!)
- Memorize Marching Band music
- Learn Symphonic Band music...that I left at school in my locker...not helpful :/
- 7 pages of (easy, time-consuming, tedious, and extremely repetitive) written music theory homework
- 40 pages to read for Music Appreciation...and remember...
Looks like I'll be "laboring" on Labor Day. ;) Hope you guys have an awesome week and enjoy the day "off".
P.S. - So this post turned out to be a regular post...me rambling about stuff no one cares about...except with little dashes in front of the paragraphs, lol. Sorry. I'm not so good with lists unless it's To Do Lists or Grocery Lists...only writing those though. ;) I went back and put in some nice highlights though for you skim readers. ;)
So, Wednesday, I went and got my textbooks for college...wow. Not only were they expensive, but my Theory class has four textbooks...FOUR. If that wasn’t intimidating enough in itself, one is called, "Anthology for Musical Analysis". Haha...that makes me sound a lot smarter than I really am, and it gets better. Another one is called, "A New Approach to Sight Singing". Ahem... I’m majoring in Music Education – Instrumental. I play saxophone...I don’t sing...very well, lol. I get nervous as it is playing saxophone, and singing is a lot worse. Oh well. I guess I can learn to get over that too. Or, as despair.com says, "If you can’t learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly." :)
Anyway, the reality of being a freshman in college, although easy to acknowledge in my mind, is something I’m having a rather hard time truly believing. I’ll be 18 in a little over two weeks...and I don’t even feel 17. I still feel like a kid! And I probably still act like one at times too. ;) Honestly...I sorta still feel like I’m 12 or something...I’m about that tall, lol. Some of my friends are already leaving to go off to college, and band camp for me starts in only a week. I still can't believe it.
Going to college has always felt so far off in the distance, and I’ve honestly never given much thought to it, as opposed to just about everything else it seems. Even being a senior in high school, it never hit me that I was going to college next year. The college kids, even the freshmen, always seemed so much older than me. Like there was a chasm the size of the Grand Canyon between college kids and high school kids. Yet, here I am, standing on the brink of "adulthood" and still trying to keep one foot on the high school cliff. I’m in that awkward stage called transition, and it feels like my feet on either side of this chasm I seem to be straddling are getting farther and farther apart, forcing me to choose between one or the other or get hurt in the process. I can’t do the splits (really), my legs are short, and I haven’t quite mastered the flying thing yet.
It seems like I have to choose, one or the other, but do I really? Can’t I enjoy this time when I’m still kinda in high school and in college at the same time (a little late I know)? You know, if I felt like there was a huge chasm between high school and college, won’t others possibly feel that way too? Maybe I could be the bridge between the two sides, making it easier for others to cross. Others have helped me "bridge the gap", and the least I could do is to do the same for others, making the leap not so daunting. However, you still must cross over to the other side yourself, and maybe I could help out in that area too like others have helped me as well. Maybe I don’t have to be the bridge. I can just be the one who gives you the faith that you can make that jump. Or both. Haha...a talking bridge. ;) Ok, that was lame...and it would be kinda creepy... I sorta need to keep something on that high school cliff so I can still relate to them when I teach. ;)
Anyway, as I said earlier, this transition is hard. This summer has definitely been one of, if not the hardest and most challenging summer I’ve ever experienced. I’ve pretty much been through it all this summer. I sunk to probably the lowest I’ve ever been. Everything’s changing just when I finally started to realize how amazing I had it. One of my greatest fears, if not the greatest fear I had came true, and it hit me blindsided. I just didn’t know how to react. It threw everything out-of-whack, but I think I’m back on track now, at least hopefully. I’m just trying to keep my head on straight and my heart in tact as I try to handle whatever’s thrown my way next.
You know, all of this has gotten me thinking really hard this summer. Where I’ve been, where I am, who I am, where I’m going, who I want to be. Evaluating, analyzing, and observing things. I’ve been learning things, about life, myself, and others. One thing in particular I’ve been thinking about is college. Ha, no surprise there, but what about college may surprise you. I’ve been pondering my major. As set and determined as I was on becoming a music education major, I wasn’t quite so sure if that’s what I really and truly wanted to do and, really, what I was talented enough to do. I was scared that I wouldn’t be a strong enough teacher, and then I doubted I’d be strong enough in the music department to teach music. I had doubts about whether it was really all I imagined it would be, or if I had built it up to be something that it wasn’t. I considered teaching other subjects. However, the more I thought and considered other options, the more I realized just how much I wanted to teach music. Not to say I don’t still have some lingering doubts, but I am more assured in my choice of major than before.
College is going to be hard. Majoring in Music Education isn’t going to be a cake walk. I know this, but I won’t let it scare me away from doing what I long to do. So, I’m running towards the canyon and jumping toward the other side with doubts, but confidence and faith as well, knowing that no matter what comes my way, I’ll meet it with reckless enthusiasm, perseverance, and hard work, having the satisfaction that I’m following my dreams and doing what I love. The road will be tough, but I’ll make it. I will need help many times, I have no doubt, but I’ll make it, because I’m not giving up. I’ll learn from my mistakes, I’ll grow as a person and a musician, I’ll be the best person I can be, and do everything to the best of my ability. I’m sure I’ll get frustrated and lose sight of why I’m doing what I’m doing from time to time, but I pray that during those times, when I feel like giving up, I’ll remember why I held on to begin with. I’ll think back to those moments with the people that shaped me forever and find inspiration in them. I know I have friends to lean on during those hard times and to share the good times with. Everything that’s happened this summer has proven that to me. I will make it. I may be beaten, broken, and bleeding, but in the end, I’ll be standing and stronger than ever before. I am determined to do and be my best, to make those who have influenced and inspired me proud and not let their influence go to waste, and most importantly, to make a difference. If I can do just one of those things, if I only influence one kid, everything I’ll have ever done to get there will have been worth it.
"I may not have reason to believe, but I choose to. Sometimes, we just need something to believe in, even if it’s not always true, because they are the things worth believing in."
Guess what, Amy...you are going to love WKU. It's incredible, and the classes are really probably not as hard as you think they're going to be. Welcome to the ranks of "college kids", lol. If you ever need a buddy on campus, holler at me!
wow amy,amazing post!. i can say i've have had that kinda summer too,but right when the tears are flowing and i didnt think i could make it, you where SO encoraging you cared that means a whole lot to me, thanks a million. you have helped me be optimistic and learn that no matter what to be the best i can be thanks :).
