I needed a new post. Nothing new except I am trying Facebook. So far it has been very time consuming, but not very profitable. It is very cluttered and there are way too many things to consume even more time. I'm not a big fan. It has been nice to see pictures of long lost friends, but I have found out some things I would prefer not to know.
Missed you this weekend. Not a biggy. I was working at hte church building and stopped at Ben's. He was working on his chimney and updated me. I was strangely pleased that noone called me. I hate that phone.
Hey, are you the Wayne Hastings that used to live in Memphis and went to Bartlett? If you are, you were our photographer at our wedding! (Oscar and Melanie Miles) Cool to find you here.
It is nicer on Facebook to see what everyone is doing on one screen without having to go from blog to blog. I just haven't had much time for the computer.
I am about to dive head first into something that has been bothering me for a while. Hopefully there are others out there that are dealing with or have dealt with it as well.
For a long time, I have been satisfied with my spirituality. I have known I could do more, but it didn't really bother me. I have felt good knowing that I was "letting my light shine". I knew that those around me knew I was a Christian and faithfully attend services. I would help others any chance I could. I would do many things that to others would appear as if I was a "good person".
But now, more than ever, I feel I am failing God. I have heard several lessons lately that have challenged me and that have made me think and question my way of life. I have begun to mature and see more of the big picture. The things I have not been doing are eating away at my being.
So, what to do about it…
My problem seems to boil down to priorities of responsibilities. I feel God has laid out His instructions quite clearly, but how to accomplish them all is beyond me. All of the responsibilities I have been given toward my earthly family, my spiritual family, and the lost are becoming overwhelming. I am struggling with how to take care of them all without neglecting any in the process. If I focus on any in particular, I feel I am failing others. I know I am missing the mark, but I can't figure out how to balance it all. I have just about come to the conclusion it is impossible.
Where does that leave me? I try very hard not to be a negative person, but the more I try to figure it all out, the worse it seems to get. I will also throw one more thing out there. What NT examples do we have of a man that is noted for being able to correctly juggle all of these responsibilities in a respectable manner? How much do we know about that man? What can we learn from him?
You only have so many hours in a day. First learn that you can not do it all. Next decide everyday to do all that you can. I believe your wife and children must be right behind God in terms of priorities. You have a "one flesh" relationship that must be taken care of to please God, to strengthen both of you, but also to influence the world around you (in and out of the church). Also, some of these responsibilities can overlap. For example, take your children with you to visit someone (when it's appropriate). As they get older, take them with you to teach someone. It's good training for them. These are just a few thoughts, but this is a big, deep issue. Call me if you want to talk some about it. I love you brother!!!!
We recently had a gospel meeting on parenting. For one of the introductory lessons, he talked about priorities. Here's his list of priorities and the order in which you should address them. Be the Best: Person Partner Parent Provider Public Servant
Person=Putting God and the Kingdom first Partner=Time with your spouse Parent=Time with children Provider=Time with your vocation Public Servant=Ministry to others
He pointed out that being a priority does not necessarily mean you spend more time proportionally on one than the other. (Example - you may spend 8 hours sleeping and 1 hour eating, but that doesn't mean that one is 8 times more important than the other.)
This one is my thought: When children are young, they require a lot of attention. I don't think it would be bad to neglect ministry to others in order to make sure that you spend time with your children. As far as teaching others about Christ, I believe your children are your number one priority. Even if you were to convert others to Christ, it would be tragic if your own children did not decide to follow Christ.
Culturally, yes. In the Church of Christ, the biggest lie is that doing "church work" is the most important thing one can do. I'm not sure if that is what {batidw|batidw] was implying or not (maybe not from the statements about kids, but what about wives?).
Priority should simply be:
1. God
2. Wife
3. Children
4. Work/Church family & responsibilites
5. everything else
There is no other person to take care of your wife than you - that's why God gave you each other. So, if you neglect your relationship with your wife, you're not caring for her as God intended.
The same goes for your children - God gave them to you, and you are the only dad they have and they only have now to today to learn from you.
There is often a lot of pressure to take on things as "church projects" that men are encouraged and even lauded for deserting their families. Frequently, this is from older brethren who no longer have children at home and, regrettably, often have children who are not believers. This doesn't seem to be the most effective way to do things based on empirical evidence.
Of course, the best ways to care for our wife and children are to spend time doing things that not only strengthen our family bonds but also allow us to grow spiritually.
The only challenging thing is that this all takes time. We have to devote some time to our own personal study and relationship with God in order to lead our wives and children to grow closer to God. In order to accomplish this and still put in the hours at the job to take care of the family, "selfish" pursuits fall by the wayside.
I feel like I've abandoned Jeff and it kills me. I want to get out and play DG at least once a month, but I've only been a couple of times this whole year. I haven't run more than once every two months since before memorial day 2007.
I'm not saying you have to do these things, but even vastly reducing the time spent in a lot of things I'd like to do, I still struggle to put forth the time and effort to be the leader and provider (spiritually and emotionally as well as financially) that I need to be.
I would suggest reading Family Man, Family Leader. it's a great book, and I need to re-read it because there is so much in it.
And, if it can work into your schedule, we would be VERY happy to have you all come spend a couple of days here!
Sorry for the lengthy comment, but this is something I've been thinking about a LOT this last year.
A lot of good comments have been made already, so I won't add a whole lot. But, first, the most important thing to remember is pray about it. Second, one analogy I've heard is that Christianity is similar to a long-distance race - there will be moments in that race where we feel overwhelmed and question whether we can finish, but, if we persevere and trust in God, we can make it through. I'm sure all of us have struggled with or are struggling with these things. If I can find it, I have a book called "Balancing Life's Demands" that I'll be glad to bring it when we come up to KY at the end of the month. Hang in there.
Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
When we grow to the point that we realize our failings, I believe the devil attacks by telling us "You can't ever be good enough, so why try?" That is only half true. The Lord in essence says, "You can't ever be good enough, but I love you - even in your failings - and have made a way for you." All He asks of us is our love - for Him and for others. Mark 12:28-34 and Rom.13:8-10
To love the Lord and to love others...can we do that? Yes we can! Will we fail at times to love as much as we ought? Yes we will! Did the great apostle Paul find himself falling short of his rightful duty? Yes - even saying, "Oh Wretched Man that I Am!" His consolation, his salvation? Not any act or deed of his own, but God - through Jesus Christ. Rom.7:14-8:2
"Grow in the GRACE and KNOWLEDGE of our LORD and SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST." Listen to it..."For by GRACE you have been saved through FAITH, and that NOT OF YOURSELVES, it is THE GIFT OF GOD." Rom.2:8 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart..." Do not trust in yourself - that's what the devil would have you do!
Looks like the 13th would be good. The 14th is rather busy. We have reservations for a holiday dinner with my parents after church. But at 3:30 Ruby is having a big party for the ladies. We are doing a cookie exchange, secret sister reveal and baskets for the shut ins. We did the party here last year and it was a ton of fun, I think Beth would really enjoy it. We could make cookies to exchange with the kids on Saturday night. So, if you can keep yourselves busy for lunch on Sunday, I think next weekend would work. (Make sure you tell Beth that Monday is a great day for the thrift store- they pick a color of tag and everything with that tag is .50)
For some strange reason, I enjoyed the similes and metaphors a GREAT deal more than the video! And no, I didn't jump - the video looked as if it wasn't going to fully load, so I got tired of waiting and went ahead and read beyond it.
Figured I was behind the times. :) Has Beth told you our Christmas plans? We plan to be in KY from the Sat after Christmas until Fri or Sat after New Year's.
I jumped, even though I was pretty sure it was going to happen. I'm sure it would have been funny to see since I had leaned close to the computer to see it better.:-) I love the essay excerpts.
Even thought her last entry was neat, it brought up a pet peeve of mine. You can't give more than 100% of yourself. When people say they gave 110%, it makes my skin crawl. I don't think it is even possible to give 100% of yourself to anything - except maybe death. If you were able to give everything it is only 100% - however, you can always give more, so you never reach 100%.
I think it is noble to strive for 100%, but even in our spiritual lives, we can always do more. I heard a good lesson yesterday. It boiled down to our dedication to GOD. How dedicated are we to HIM and his people? Do we do enough for HIM, do we do enough for our brethren, do we do enough for the lost? I know I can do more.
No we can never do enough, but we can kill ourselves with guilt over it. I think that members of "the church" tend to not give God's grace and mercy enough credit. God found us worthy of salvation, even if we truly are not. We need to accept His gift, obey and concentrate on loving Him and our neighbor. I think He is most pleased when we love to the fullest, not necessarily get the most done.
You are right. But another thought that came to mind during the lesson was why we (me and Christians as a whole) don't do more. What are the excuses we use to justify not doing more? Is it possible to give God's grace and mercy too much credit? Is it possible to get comfortable with knowing we will never be perfect and rely on Him to be gracious and merciful?
Why we do what we do and how each person justifies what they do (or don't do) is what entrigues me about us humans. I find at work that most people justify not doing more because they concern themselves with everyone else. It is sad and humorous how people tend to complain about everything that is wrong and an injustice, but when it comes to doing something about it to make it better, not many people are interested in helping. It seems the best defence people use is that they aren't as bad as...
I really didn't mean to get this deep with my blog. When I started to write it, I was hoping to have people give arguments about how you can give more than 100%. (Not that I'm totally displeased with the application.)
I'm with you, it's always bothered me when people say "I'll give 110%" b/c it's impossible. And, you're right, if we're not perfect how can we even give 100% - only Christ could do that for us. Good post.
I totally agree with everything you are saying. I just know, for me, guilt about not "doing more" tends to make me not have my focus where it needs to be.
And I think moving back would work out well. Beth is one woman who I think can do anything she puts her mind to, sooo, sure I am sure she could handle all of that :)
Sunday we are having a church pot luck, Thursday we are having Thanksgiving and next Sunday we are having Rosemary's 3rd birthday. Consider yourself invited to all three :)
With this holiday approaching, and since my wife told me I needed a new post, I thought it would be appropriate to say "Thanks". And since I don't say it enough to my wife… this is for her.
THANK YOU FOR..
- All the work you do for our home.
- All the work you do for our children.
- All the work you do for the church.
- All the work you do for others.
- All the work you do for me.
I often take it for granted when I sit down to a wonderful meal, in a clean house, while wearing clean clothes. It is all because of you.
I often fail to acknowledge how much work goes into keeping our children clean, fed and well behaved. Your hard work is behind it all.
I often think you take on too much, but you still find the time to teach bible class and organize other events with our brothers and sisters in Christ. You amaze me.
I often fail you and I'm sorry. You make my life very easy. I appreciate all you do even when I don't say it. I have not even begun to scratch the surface, but at least it is a start. I just want the world to know how thankful I am to have you as my wife.
And if anyone else has taken the time to read this, I most likely consider you a friend. And in keeping with the theme - I would like to thank you as well. Many of you have been there for me when I needed lifting up. And often times, simply being in your presence has helped. I truly have amazing friends - THANKS for being you. May God bless you all during this season and in the seasons to come.
I happened to see your post on the 'Pleonast Recent' list. Good job Wayne. It made me tear up reading this so I'm sure your Beth will be very appreciative of your thankfulness. You are a good and blessed man!
Left unwritten or unsaid only the mind readers would get to know the great things in your purdy lil' head!!! Thankyou for being a man who isn't embarassed to bless others with thought-filled & genuine love and appreciation for God's richest blessings (the amazing people) in your life!!
You are saying what so many men should say to their wives and we women should write something wonderful for our husbands. You are the provider of the home, head of the household, example for your family, friends, and children. It is so wonderful to read the things you said about your wife. I certainly appreciate your humble heart and your thankfulness for your wife and family.
I did read the whole post! You sound so grown up. I am proud of you and Beth. It is so refreshing to see a young couple who love the Lord, love each other and love their children. I'm so happy to be considered an "old" friend. Happy Thanksgiving.
Haa! "all together" :) It is funny, how I feel like as the older I get, the more "together" I should be getting. I think, however, the opposite is true.
The Lord has truly blessed us all with different talents. It is so neat to see how individuals glorify Him differently, but also how each family has their own unique collective strengths. You and Beth have a positive energy that I admire. No task is too great, yet you do not let the details slide. Your family is a light, not only in the World, but also in the kingdom itself.
Rosemary is still asking where Sammy the Lamb is, after almost a year. She really bonded to him. It is strange how randomly she mentions him, at the strangest of times. I think a boy needs a dog. Maybe, before long, you all can make new memories with a new furry one. The kids are the only reason I want dogs. I loved mine growing up and if you time them right, the dogs can live through their childhood and be there for them through the more challenging, older years.
