A wonderful woman at church gave my kids an amaryllis bulb for Christmas so they could take care of it and watch it grow. It was a beautiful and thoughtful gift, but I had to admit I was thinking to myself, "These poor kids will never get to see those flowers because I can't grow anything."

But I followed the directions on the box, checking them every 3 seconds to make sure I was adding the right amount of water, etc.

After a few days, I saw a little green sprout coming off the bulb. The stem grew and grew and is now about 2 feet tall or so. A couple of days ago the flowers starting coming out.

And now it's quite beautiful, and still has some buds that haven't opened, so it should get more beautiful. True, the stem has to lean against my cabinet because it grew a little sideways, but its quirks make it lovable.

And I look at it and so many emotions run through my mind:

- Pride that I didn't kill it like I do every other real plant I try to grow.

- Awe at its beauty.

- Joy that growing and watering the plant was something the kids and I did together.

- Gratitude for friends that give such thoughtful gifts.

- Happiness at seeing my kids' faces light up when they look at it and say "Look at the beautiful flower!"

- Hope that beautiful things can grow from ugly beginnings.

It's amazing that one small thing has brightened my days up so much this week, but I'm glad it's there.

Because I can simultaneously think of nothing to write about and everything to write about, I'm just going to repost a little survey thing I saw on another blog (with my answers of course).

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Speak at an international conference. Create a real-life budget in a money software program. Considered voting for a Democrat.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don’t remember whether I made any last year. I do have a few for this year but I tried to keep the list short so it was actually attainable.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not in 2008 that I can think of.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you visit?
I didn’t leave the U.S. this year. I know, I'm a thrill a minute.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
Inner peace.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
May 23 - my 10-year anniversary, August 2 - my beautiful sister's wedding, Nov. 24 - bad family stuff

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Holding it (mostly) together through a lot of heartache.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Taking some of my stress out on my kids.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No, unless you count bad sinus headaches for the last 3 months.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
The grill I gave Lee for Father's Day...he uses it all the time, the food is great, and it helps me out when he cooks.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My sister for inspiring me to get closer to God. My mom for handling things so well. My husband for helping me through this year.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
All of those corrupt CEOs and investors that take others' money.

14. Where did most of your money go?
The mortgage, retirement, debt, kids' college funds.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Slade's medicine helping him so much.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
Hmm. Don't know.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
b) thinner or fatter?
c) richer or poorer?

Sadder. No thinner or fatter (about the same). Poorer, since everyone at work got a pay cut after layoffs Thursday. :(

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Read my Bible. Spent more time with Lee and kids.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Yelled. Felt sorry for myself.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
Hosted Christmas with my family here the weekend before. Spent Christmas Day with just Lee and the kids at our house - first time we'd done that, and it was wonderfully relaxing.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Yes, again with Lee for his patience, understanding, and support during a really rough time.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
I really really like The Mentalist (new show). And I have also rediscovered Whose Line is it Anyway. Tivo-ing it like crazy to have when I'm feeling down - it's so hilarious.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I don't hate anyone. I have strong feelings against a couple of people, but I'm working on that.

24. What did you want and get?
Some new black boots. More closeness with my sister. More debt paid off!

25. What did you want and not get?
ALL my debt paid off. :)

26. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Turned 32. Don't remember what I did on the actual day, but did the usual dinner with the family.

27. Who did you miss?
My dad. My other sister.

28. What's the best thing you learned?
That I can't handle everything by myself, and need to take people up on their offers to help.

Though the year actually started 4 days ago, I feel like today is the first day of the new year. Probably because I'm back at work, Lee's back to work, and Slade's back at school. Happy new year everyone!

The kids and I had a wonderful trip visiting family and friends in Oklahoma City, Stephenville, and Dallas. for 8 days It was a long time to be gone, but so good to be around my loving family and spend the time with my mom. Even better, when I got home, my sweet husband had taken down the Christmas tree and put away all the decorations so I wouldn't have to do it. What a pleasant surprise!

I spent a lot of time thinking over the weekend, and talking with Lee, and have several ideas for how to accomplish certain things this year. I tend to take on too many "resolutions," so I'm trying to focus on one thing in each key area I want to improve.

The most important thing I plan to work on this year is studying my Bible more. Lee and I also plan to begin a study together, one separate from the one for our Bible class. Not only will that help strengthen my faith, I think it will help me focus on the blessings I have, rather than on the bad things going on right now in my life. It will help me be more patient with my children and husband. It will help me be more encouraging to others. I will be more prepared for Bible class. I will get to do something with my husband. And I will be happier.

My other areas of improvement are to work out twice a week, eat healthier, and get more organized at home.

Hope you all are having a great new year!

I know I've been a lousy poster lately, and I'm sorry. I want to thank everyone for their prayers and support during our family's difficult time, and I can't even put into words how much it's helping. I haven't posted much because I really don't want to be a downer to everyone out there, so I'm trying to process through my pain in other ways.

I have found through this difficult time, that I actually feel stronger spiritually than I have in a long time. I'm not usually very good about turning things over to God, but I've found that some days I can actually do that (other days I still struggle, but I'm getting there).

I also want to mention that I am so grateful to my parents for instilling God's word into me as a child, and for helping me study and ultimately become who I am today. Though some of my family's beliefs are up in the air right now and Satan is vigorously trying to make that permanent, I will always thank Mom and Dad for their example while I was growing up.

Hope you all have a merry Christmas!

Hello everyone, just wanted to say thanks for all your prayers, calls, and notes during such a tough time. I am working very hard on turning things over to God, and some parts of some days, I feel like I'm succeeding. I appreciate your support.

More later when I have more time.