The Princess and The Prehistoric Patron
My very close friends know this truth about me. I was born in the wrong era. I listen to the "Andrews Sisters", and feel no shame.
My favorite actresses are all dead and have been that way for some time. My favorite actors are also all deceased. When I went
to Hollywood, my best friend wanted to go to Beverly Hills so we could "maybe see some stars" Me? I wanted to hit all the cemetaries. That is where all the stars I care anything about are, after all.
Needless to say, MY celebrities were far easier to find than hers! We never did see Tom Hanks, but Bette Davis was right where I knew she would be!
Having said all of that, leads me to my REAL rant. This is dedicated to people who think "Hannah Montana" is real entertainment, and Miley Cyrus is real talent. And to Disney, for forgetting who they are, and from whence they came!
My parents are silly. And they brought me and my sister up to be silly. Aint it grand? This means we like sweet silly innocent fluffy programs. We live on TV land, and the Hallmark channel. When we are not watching "Hogan's Heroes" (See Hitler fall in half an hour FLAT. Why did WWII take so long?) or "Green Acres" (Proof that I am not the only one who does house work or gardening in a feather boa). We watch FOX News (Happiness is only a conservative spin away folks!) See? Sweet and happy!
So one day, while on the computer (The one I threaten to throw out the window at least a thousand times a day.) I found out that "Zorro" was coming out on DVD! JOY! RAPTURE!
Now for those of you (and I know there are many) who think "Zorro" is Antonio Banderas, I say to you: "No! Silly Rabbit! 'Zorro' was for kids!" In the 50's "Zorro" was a Disney adventure series, a GREAT one at that! I have seen every episode back in the day the Disney channel wasn't geared strictly for 10 year olds.
Anyway, so the show is actually out on DVD now! HUGE YEE-HAW moment, as it is a great gift for the parental units (and not too shabby for me either) as they LOVE Disney's Zorro!
So off I go to the DISNEY STORE, because it IS a DISNEY PROGRAM!
It was obviously Disney Princess Day, as several sales clerks were dressed in Princess attire. (don't know why, Don't care...I was on a mission people!) So I make my way over to a prissy little princess.
"Hi!" I say brightly "I'm here for the new "Zorro" release!"
The princess looks at me like I just missed the trap set for me under the sink.
"I'm sorry, you want what?" she asks with an insincere princess smile.
Because I am basically a "swift" person, I can tell my little quest is quickly heading south.
"The "Zorro" realease" I repeat enunciating my words, as this particular princess was obviously wet behind the ears.
"WE don't sell Marvel Comics here!" She sniffed in her best Emily-sitting-on -a-Post manner
Ok, so this was when I started getting a little hot, kids.
"Listen, 'Ariel' " I snarled "Maybe you've spent a little too much time under the sea, but "Zorro" IS a WALT DISNEY television show from the 1950's, AND it is being released today, it says so on YOUR store's WEB SITE, WHY don't YOU know that??"
Well! Prissy's little attitude changed right after that!
"It IS?" she gasped "I'm sorry...all we have is up!"
Ok, my gentle readers, you must forgive me, but at that moment my eyes traveled skyward and I heard myself say "Up What?" which of course left me open for ALL SORTS of come backs, and thank heaven we were standing in the Disney store, I could tell by the look on "Ariel's" face that it was the only thing that saved me. "Up" turned out to be a movie I had never heard of. Whatever.
Aside from "Up" my other obvious problem was who I chose to ask for help. I went for a "New Money Princess" when I should have gone with the old school Cinderella and Snow White. Both older than 1958 and would surely remember a handsome romantic horse -riding masked hero like Zorro.
But honestly, I avoided them for a reason. Snow White makes the enamel on my teeth curdle, and as for Cinderella, I have no common ground with a woman who happily does house work, accepts living in an attic, and not only converses with rodents, but makes tiny rat-clothes for them. Besides, standing next to someone wearing glass slippers would only cause my OCD to flare up, and me with no Windex or paper towels.
If only good ole "Tink" had been there! She's sensible despite the blonde hair and skimpy little green number she tries to pass off as a dress.
If I had dragged my lazy self down there a day or two earlier, I could have by-passed all this nonsense that boiled down to a pitiful princess party, and talked to someone more on my level.
Maleficent, or Captain Hook.
But you live, you learn.
As I looked around the store it became clear, that if I had bothered to look around the store when I first came in, I would have realized that I had come to the WRONG PLACE!!
Miley Hannah Cyrus Montana was smiling at me from every single corner, she was even on the video screen. Name-That-Jonas brother (I know there is a Joe and I think a Nick, the last one is either Simon, George, John, Paul or Ringo) standing in the center of the store, and "High School Stuck In Yet Another Musical" was behind the register. All I saw of Mickey Mouse, was his ears. Truly. The place had no redeeming qualities to be found. No Jack Sparrow to be had. AND NO ZORRO!
I turned to "Ariel" and said:
"You know....Disney would do well to remember the generation that made them what they are today! My parent's generation is buying all this sillinesss for their grandkids, and you don't have the decency to carry classic Disney programing, let alone show it on your over-priced Disney channel!"
"Ariel" looked like she was either : a) going to cry, or b) going to give me a swift kick in the posterior with her fish tail. But I wasn't through yet!
"And furthermore, I was born in 1971, yes, I know hon, I don't look that old, but I can tell you 1971 was the year Walt Disney World opened, and I can also tell you that MY generation has NO appreciation for Hannah Montana OR the Jonas people either!"
And I haughtily turned around, ran into a "Cars" sippy cup display knocking it to the ground, tripped over two rolling sippy-cups,and staggered out the door like a drunk into the main mall.
Think they will forget me? I should say not! Especially since they have me forever captured on their surveillance camera.
BUT I think I made my point!
And for those of you who have stayed with me this long (My last post was in May, I've been saving up) and are worried about it,
I DID in fact find "Zorro". At Wal-mart. And then again at Best Buy.
But NOT at the ONE store it SHOULD have been at.
Oh, How the Mouse has fallen!
The Poor Unfortunate Soul!
A
My favorite actresses are all dead and have been that way for some time. My favorite actors are also all deceased. When I went
to Hollywood, my best friend wanted to go to Beverly Hills so we could "maybe see some stars" Me? I wanted to hit all the cemetaries. That is where all the stars I care anything about are, after all.
Needless to say, MY celebrities were far easier to find than hers! We never did see Tom Hanks, but Bette Davis was right where I knew she would be!
Having said all of that, leads me to my REAL rant. This is dedicated to people who think "Hannah Montana" is real entertainment, and Miley Cyrus is real talent. And to Disney, for forgetting who they are, and from whence they came!
My parents are silly. And they brought me and my sister up to be silly. Aint it grand? This means we like sweet silly innocent fluffy programs. We live on TV land, and the Hallmark channel. When we are not watching "Hogan's Heroes" (See Hitler fall in half an hour FLAT. Why did WWII take so long?) or "Green Acres" (Proof that I am not the only one who does house work or gardening in a feather boa). We watch FOX News (Happiness is only a conservative spin away folks!) See? Sweet and happy!
So one day, while on the computer (The one I threaten to throw out the window at least a thousand times a day.) I found out that "Zorro" was coming out on DVD! JOY! RAPTURE!
Now for those of you (and I know there are many) who think "Zorro" is Antonio Banderas, I say to you: "No! Silly Rabbit! 'Zorro' was for kids!" In the 50's "Zorro" was a Disney adventure series, a GREAT one at that! I have seen every episode back in the day the Disney channel wasn't geared strictly for 10 year olds.
Anyway, so the show is actually out on DVD now! HUGE YEE-HAW moment, as it is a great gift for the parental units (and not too shabby for me either) as they LOVE Disney's Zorro!
So off I go to the DISNEY STORE, because it IS a DISNEY PROGRAM!
It was obviously Disney Princess Day, as several sales clerks were dressed in Princess attire. (don't know why, Don't care...I was on a mission people!) So I make my way over to a prissy little princess.
"Hi!" I say brightly "I'm here for the new "Zorro" release!"
The princess looks at me like I just missed the trap set for me under the sink.
"I'm sorry, you want what?" she asks with an insincere princess smile.
Because I am basically a "swift" person, I can tell my little quest is quickly heading south.
"The "Zorro" realease" I repeat enunciating my words, as this particular princess was obviously wet behind the ears.
"WE don't sell Marvel Comics here!" She sniffed in her best Emily-sitting-on -a-Post manner
Ok, so this was when I started getting a little hot, kids.
"Listen, 'Ariel' " I snarled "Maybe you've spent a little too much time under the sea, but "Zorro" IS a WALT DISNEY television show from the 1950's, AND it is being released today, it says so on YOUR store's WEB SITE, WHY don't YOU know that??"
Well! Prissy's little attitude changed right after that!
"It IS?" she gasped "I'm sorry...all we have is up!"
Ok, my gentle readers, you must forgive me, but at that moment my eyes traveled skyward and I heard myself say "Up What?" which of course left me open for ALL SORTS of come backs, and thank heaven we were standing in the Disney store, I could tell by the look on "Ariel's" face that it was the only thing that saved me. "Up" turned out to be a movie I had never heard of. Whatever.
Aside from "Up" my other obvious problem was who I chose to ask for help. I went for a "New Money Princess" when I should have gone with the old school Cinderella and Snow White. Both older than 1958 and would surely remember a handsome romantic horse -riding masked hero like Zorro.
But honestly, I avoided them for a reason. Snow White makes the enamel on my teeth curdle, and as for Cinderella, I have no common ground with a woman who happily does house work, accepts living in an attic, and not only converses with rodents, but makes tiny rat-clothes for them. Besides, standing next to someone wearing glass slippers would only cause my OCD to flare up, and me with no Windex or paper towels.
If only good ole "Tink" had been there! She's sensible despite the blonde hair and skimpy little green number she tries to pass off as a dress.
If I had dragged my lazy self down there a day or two earlier, I could have by-passed all this nonsense that boiled down to a pitiful princess party, and talked to someone more on my level.
Maleficent, or Captain Hook.
But you live, you learn.
As I looked around the store it became clear, that if I had bothered to look around the store when I first came in, I would have realized that I had come to the WRONG PLACE!!
Miley Hannah Cyrus Montana was smiling at me from every single corner, she was even on the video screen. Name-That-Jonas brother (I know there is a Joe and I think a Nick, the last one is either Simon, George, John, Paul or Ringo) standing in the center of the store, and "High School Stuck In Yet Another Musical" was behind the register. All I saw of Mickey Mouse, was his ears. Truly. The place had no redeeming qualities to be found. No Jack Sparrow to be had. AND NO ZORRO!
I turned to "Ariel" and said:
"You know....Disney would do well to remember the generation that made them what they are today! My parent's generation is buying all this sillinesss for their grandkids, and you don't have the decency to carry classic Disney programing, let alone show it on your over-priced Disney channel!"
"Ariel" looked like she was either : a) going to cry, or b) going to give me a swift kick in the posterior with her fish tail. But I wasn't through yet!
"And furthermore, I was born in 1971, yes, I know hon, I don't look that old, but I can tell you 1971 was the year Walt Disney World opened, and I can also tell you that MY generation has NO appreciation for Hannah Montana OR the Jonas people either!"
And I haughtily turned around, ran into a "Cars" sippy cup display knocking it to the ground, tripped over two rolling sippy-cups,and staggered out the door like a drunk into the main mall.
Think they will forget me? I should say not! Especially since they have me forever captured on their surveillance camera.
BUT I think I made my point!
And for those of you who have stayed with me this long (My last post was in May, I've been saving up) and are worried about it,
I DID in fact find "Zorro". At Wal-mart. And then again at Best Buy.
But NOT at the ONE store it SHOULD have been at.
Oh, How the Mouse has fallen!
The Poor Unfortunate Soul!
A
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melissal
floridacutie2891
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fieldingjenna08
actually, its true. Disney bought Marvel. So, basically, disney is not just zorro. Disney is now superman and batman and all those otherss.
I still like Zorro better.
Thanks for thinking of me!
I'm on break starting thursday... would you like to catch up soon?
And thanks for the post! It took you long enough!
Have a great week!