Super Bowl & Other More Important Things

With the time of the kick-off of the Super Bowl in the middle of church services, and not having the luxury of a tivo or some similar device, I missed the first half of the game. Not a big deal. I was hoping to make it back in time to see The Who play at halftime. We came home right at the end of their performance. Oh well. But that at least meant I got to see the whole second half. My prediction for the outcome was half right. I guessed the Saints would score 31 points. Unfortunately, I picked the Colts to score 34 (instead they scored 17). It was weird watching it this year. I can't really explain it, but it didn't feel like the Super Bowl. It was a good game in any case.

And what's a Super Bowl without commercials?
- I guess the much talked about Tim Tebow commercial aired in the first half because I didn't see it. Maybe it will show up on Youtube eventually.
- The Census 2010 commercial was a colossal pile of steaming horse manure. I mean really. The government's going to spend $3 million of our tax dollars to run an ad in the Super Bowl for the Census (which is ridiculous in itself), then they produce a nonsensical ad like that. All the calls by the American people to cut wasteful government spending, then they do that. I really think they were mocking us. I'm not even kidding.
- The Audi Green Police commercial really disturbed me. More about that on my other blog.
- I thought the funniest one was the Doritos samurai commercial. Second would be the VW commercial, mostly because of Stevie Wonder at the end.

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Looking for some brainstorming help. I'm trying to make a list of instructions in the Bible about our spiritual lives that use a financial analogy. I'm not so much looking for instructions about finances, but instructions where the financial is a metaphor for the spiritual. So far I've got...
- The value placed upon the soul (Mt. 16:24-27) -- worth more than all the world
- Buy the truth & sell it not (Pr. 23:23)
- The pearl of great value (Mt. 13:45-46)
- "Buy from Me gold refined by fire" (Rev. 3:18) -- self reliance vs. reliance upon Christ
- Lay up treasures in heaven (Mt. 6:19-21)
- Gains & losses (Phil. 3:8) -- count all things as loss to gain Christ

Any other ideas?

-- -------------------- --

Have you heard this one before? When Paul wrote to the Romans, he wasn't condemning homosexuals for engaging in sexual relations with those of the same sex. He was condemning heterosexuals for practicing homosexuality.

Yeah, someone's actually used that to try to defend homosexuality. I wrote more on that here on Plain Bible Teaching.
  • 23_bravo_7
    I hadn't heard that one about homosexuality but I did read the argument that Paul could not speak with "authority" on the subject because he was just a man and Jesus never mentioned it. Further, that homosexuality was only a sin under Jewish Law.
    by 23_bravo_7 at 02/08/10 2:55AM
  • split_rock
    No writer's block for you last night! Good reading!
    by split_rock at 02/08/10 5:15AM
  • missy
    Look on hulu.com and I think they have the commercials there.
    by missy at 02/08/10 6:58AM
  • cbonk
    I sent your email about homosexuality to my dad and he liked it. Thanks! We DVR'd the game for the same reason and I got home a little behind Josh, so I missed most of the first quarter. Josh said that the Tebow commercial was no big deal. He basically said that his mom had nearly lost him several times during her pregnancy and to go to focuconthefamily.com (or whatever) to learn more about their story. There was no overt mention of abortion at all. Some of the other ads were pretty funny, but we didn't watch them all since we "hurried" through the game so Josh could see it all before he had to go to work.

    From a historical viewpoint, homosexuality was rampant (much more so than now) in Greek and Roman culture. I have heard some people argue that it was this historical type that Paul was prohibiting - uncommited, casual sexual relations, pagan rites, and the use of young men/children, which is similar to the arguments made in the interview. Did you know that the ancient Athenians criticized the Spartans as effeminate for having practicing homosexuality? Take that "300"!
    by cbonk at 02/08/10 2:11PM
  • planethead
    The lost and found coin. Parable of the talents.
    by planethead at 02/08/10 5:28PM
  • split_rock
    Glad you enjoyed your big, fluffy-flaked limited visibility this morning! Hope you have time to play in the snow before it gets dark or melts!
    by split_rock at 02/09/10 9:31AM

Anyone have dreams like this?

Sunday morning I began teaching 1 Peter for the adult Bible class. It's for a study of 1&2 Peter and Jude. Naturally, since this was the start of a new study, I've been busy the past couple weeks getting ready for it. Before going to bed Saturday night, I studied some more, just to review what we would talk about the next morning. As usual, I felt like I hadn't prepared enough. But I knew I had to go to bed.

So that night I had a dream that I was teaching a Bible class. It wasn't the same setting as real life (building & members), but instead it was me and 8-10 others sitting around a table. In the dream, I was to begin teaching 1 Peter (surprise, surprise).

To begin the class I started reading aloud through Philippians 1. Why? I don't know. But in the dream it made sense (at first). I read about halfway through the chapter when my thoughts started distracting me -- Why was a reading Philippians 1 to start a class on 1 Peter? After I got distracted, I lost my place. So then I spent what felt like 5 minutes both trying to find my place and trying to figure out what I was doing. All the while, I could feel everyone's eyes on me. The longer it took, the more nervous I got. Where was I? Why am I reading this? The other people's eyes kept burning holes through me.

Then I realized something: I hadn't been reading from Philippians 1. I had been reading from Ephesians 6. No wonder I couldn't find my place. I was halfway relieved, but still didn't know why I wasn't reading 1 Peter 1.

Fortunately, in the morning in real life, I began our study of 1 Peter in 1 Peter. And, as usual, I had actually over-prepared.
  • cbonk
    I was supposed to sing at a friends wedding - We were singing the song "In Our Lives Lord," but in my dream we always sang, "I Am the Way" (which makes much less sense as a wedding song), although in my dream, I was always painfully aware that it was the wrong song. I must have dreamed this a dozen different ways before the actual wedding, with the same wrong song every time. Sometimes, I even thought about it during the day and tried to make sure that I was still preparing to sing the right song. We sang the right song and it was fine. I have a lot of school-type dreams that I think have a similar root where I can't find my locker/class, or I have forgotten to go to a class all semester. My dad calls them "inadequacy" dreams - and I think he's right! : ) Maybe we're supposed to feel better about ourselves when we wake up and realize that we didn't actually mess anything up!
    by cbonk at 02/04/10 2:03AM
  • dcroush
    LOL! Aren't those the WORST dreams!? I can't tell you how many times I've dreamed that I am at services and suddenly realize that I'm supposed to be preaching for that service. So in a panic I try and figure out something to talk about and realize I have nothing at all prepared. I'm not sure that I've ever actually gotten far enough into the dream as to start speaking. It's usually just the tense panic-stricken moments leading up to it in which I have no idea what to do. It's always such a relief to wake up from those kinds of dreams!
    by dcroush at 02/04/10 7:15AM
  • split_rock
    Sorry, Andy, but Jenna's dreams are much more entertaining!

    And, no, I don't have dreams like that -- or maybe I do. I never remember dreams anymore, if I dream at all.
    by split_rock at 02/04/10 8:02AM
  • mjintexas
    I do have occasional dreams like that, but if I have "church" related dreams, it's usually that weird stuff is going on in the building that isn't normally supposed to.
    by mjintexas at 02/04/10 9:38AM
  • missy
    I had a dream once that before church these 2 people got up and started doing a duet while was guy was playing a banjo. And the one who was doing announcements got up and said, "Now we'll begin our tribute to Jim."
    by missy at 02/04/10 1:10PM
  • shinri
    ok, now I am hoping I don't have one of those dreams tonight...
    by shinri at 02/04/10 1:11PM
  • timstarr
    Yeah, I have dreams like that. My latest weird dream, though, involved a voodoo witch doctor that petrified a pregnant mother and kidnapped her not-yet-born baby.... April and I had to prepare to fight the bears to get the baby back, but at the last minute things changed and we ended up having to fight zombies instead... and of course we were woefully unprepared for zombies.
    by timstarr at 02/05/10 12:06AM
  • cbonk
    In "the trade" (ha) it's called knitting chainmail...Josh thinks its humorous when I tell people that I knit...
    by cbonk at 02/06/10 4:45PM
  • cbonk
    That's hilarious, Tim...
    by cbonk at 02/06/10 4:49PM

Thanks to a Teleprompter Typo, Obama Delivers “State of the Onion” Speech

President Barack Obama has become known for his reliance upon a teleprompter for all his speeches - whether he’s addressing Congress or speaking to a classroom of school children. Most of the time the tactic is helpful in giving the American people the impression that he is a well-polished speaker. But from time to time, it has been the cause of some embarrassing moments for the President.

One such moment came tonight during Obama’s first State of the Union address. A typo in the President’s speech caused him to refer to his address as the “State of the Onion.”

Unfortunately for the President, this was not a single error, but occurred each time the word ‘union’ appeared in the speech. At one point, he attempted to cite a phrase in the Constitution, expressing our need to work together as Americans to “form a more perfect onion.”

Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell, who gave the GOP response to the President’s speech, mocked Obama’s mistake. “Many comparisons can be made between former President Jimmy Carter and current President Barack Obama. The first was a peanut farmer. The second, we learned tonight, has aspirations of being an onion farmer.”

The White House quickly issued a statement to the press about the error. The statement read: “We regret the unfortunate oversight that resulted in the President’s use of an incorrect word in his speech. We strive to hold ourselves to a higher standard than that of Microsoft Word’s spell check feature. We have acted quickly and have already dealt with the matter. The speech writer who is responsible for the mistake will retain his job, but has lost his exemption from the health care reform legislation that the President hopes to sign into law later this year.”

A senior aide to the administration indicated that the President recognized his misstatement when it was pointed out to him after the speech. He says that Obama plans to apologize to the American people just as soon as a statement is prepared for him to read.

I.M. Cirius
Plain Punditry
  • split_rock
    Old I. M. outdid himself with this one.
    by split_rock at 01/28/10 7:01AM
  • aleta
    ha ha!
    by aleta at 01/28/10 7:33AM
  • mjintexas
    Cute. :)
    by mjintexas at 01/28/10 9:27AM
  • 23_bravo_7
    Get real here. The mistake was Bush's fault.
    by 23_bravo_7 at 01/28/10 2:14PM
  • dr_worm
    Ha! Good one.
    by dr_worm at 01/28/10 2:49PM
  • iammountainfolk
    Nucular doesn't sound so bad?
    by iammountainfolk at 01/28/10 9:11PM
  • timstarr
    Haha! Very good! I especially liked the line about the speech writer's punishment being ObamaCare.
    by timstarr at 01/29/10 11:30PM
  • leaflady
    Allow me to introduce myself - I'm Tim Starr's Aunt Jeanne, & I want to thank you for the laughs on this post - very funny! :)
    by leaflady at 01/30/10 12:34AM

Traffic Stats

In my last post, I listed some goals for the new year. One of them was to have my sermons done before Saturday. I want to have that day to catch up on things and work on other projects. Sometimes I feel a little detached from other preachers, particularly from those who don't need to work a full-time secular job. I imagine my life as quite different than theirs - busy with other things during the week, then Saturday is the sermon-writing day. But maybe that's not the case.

I was checking the stats for my sermon outlines blog. I get a fair amount of traffic on it and I began noticing an interesting pattern. There is typically a spike in traffic every seven days. What day of the week is that? Saturday. (see image below)



Maybe the late-night Saturday sermon-writing among preachers is more common than I would have liked to think. Kind of makes me wonder what these preachers without secular jobs do with the rest of their week.

Disclaimer: I know not all preachers do this. So this is not a knock against all non-secular-working preachers. But...

This may be a reminder for us. If your congregation pays a man to preach the gospel, ask the question: Is he worthy of receiving those wages? Or is he one that goofs off all week and then throws together a couple sermons on Saturday? If it's the latter, maybe that man ought to look for some other employment while the congregation puts their money to better use.
  • troutlikethefish
    Make it a sermon manuscript website, and I'll help that Saturday traffic stand out even further. :-D
    by troutlikethefish at 01/26/10 3:44AM
  • troutlikethefish
    In all seriousness, as much as I try to work earlier in the week, my mind doesn't work the same until I'm under the gun. And as much as I hate that, and will continue to work for a change, I have ALWAYS been that way. I mean like grade school always. Words suddenly flow when I know that they must—and it's just always been that way. How's about I pray for you and you pray for me.
    by troutlikethefish at 01/26/10 3:48AM
  • dcroush
    I used to be like that growing up. I'd always wait until the last minute to get a sermon ready. And I'd always use someone else's outline. Over the past couple years I'm proud to say that I've grown out of that and now write all of my own material (although I will borrow ideas) and I generally have my sermons done at least a week in advance. Not trying to brag (no reason to) just relating my own experience. I think the main reason that I've changed as I have is because I realized how much more I get out of a lesson if I take the time to put it together myself and really think out the points I want to make, etc. AND, I hate getting things done at the last minute. The stress drives me nuts! :P
    by dcroush at 01/26/10 6:13AM
  • split_rock
    I wonder how many of those visiting on Saturday are guys who work a secular job during the week and find the "well" dry come Saturday deadline. You have provided a great service for these folks. They can come to your site for ideas but still have to study to flesh them out and make them work.

    I wish you could be compensated for the hard work you put into your preaching and teaching. Your reward will ultimately come. Continue to battle the discouragement that has to dog your paths some days.

    (Don't you like how I managed to work "dog" into the conversation?)
    by split_rock at 01/26/10 6:47AM
  • heatheronthehill
    From my observation and working with/living with several preachers, the work of a preacher is about 10% sermon writing/delivering and about 90% of the rest of the time is taken up with one on one bible studies, small group studies, phone calls/letter writing to encourage, helping others who call upon the preacher, and a host of other smaller and less-important tasks that always seem to fall to the preacher to accomplish. Our life is a bit unorthodox, and it has taken a while to work out a balance - in fact we are still working on that. We do enjoy more flexibility with our time during the weekday, but *every* weeknight is taken up with Bible studies, and many Saturdays we travel long distances for gospel meetings, so there is a bit of a trade-off.

    My Dad worked full time and preached also while I was growing up... still does. He always said that he regretted that he only had the time to prepare and present sermons, and that he fully understood that there was so much work to be done with evangelizing and teaching that he was just not able to do. I hope that most full-time evangelists and members understand that their role is so much more than sermons.
    by heatheronthehill at 01/26/10 6:52AM
  • dr_worm
    One thing about these stats is that it doesn't tell me who is visiting the site. Could some of them be preachers who work a full-time job and are needing ideas on the one day they have to work on their lessons? Sure. And I hope the site it helpful for such individuals. Could some of the visitors be looking ahead for ideas for a future sermon? That's certainly possible. Are some of the visitors preachers who have been busy all week with other preaching-related tasks? Sure. And I hope the outlines are helpful for any who might need them.

    I also don't have an issue with a man waiting until Saturday to prepare a lesson (I've certainly done it many times). Some people work better close to a deadline and that's fine. But as Heather pointed out, there is a lot more that a man could be doing that relates to his work, besides just writing two sermons each week. If he's doing that all week and preparing Sunday's sermons on Saturday, great.

    But if he's not, and he's just wasting time, doing nothing, and then writing sermons on Saturday, he ought to just get a job to support himself and let the church use that money for something more worthwhile.
    by dr_worm at 01/26/10 9:13AM
  • hoose
    Amen! I also know a lot of full-time preachers, and quite a few of them work on their sermons on Saturday. Doesn't bother me. :-)
    by hoose at 01/26/10 9:14AM
  • split_rock
    It doesn't bother me either if preachers prepare their sermons on Saturday. It is important that a congregation's support goes to enable a preacher to concentrate on spititual concerns like Heather mentioned, not just enable him to pursue physical/material pursuits. It's an accountability issue for elders in overseeing the use of contributions given for "furthering the work of the gospel" in a locale or elsewhere.
    by split_rock at 01/26/10 10:15AM
  • cbonk
    It's always easy to think you'd do differently with someone else's blessings...whether that's a blessing of time, money, or learning. My dad always says that he really appreciates the guys who support themselves. Paul, of course, points out several benefits to that, too. Preachers of many different types are a blessing to the people that the work with. : )
    by cbonk at 01/26/10 12:04PM

Goals for the New Year

Many people make new year’s resolutions, intending to improve some aspect of their life. If you do this, good for you. But for me personally, I don’t tend to make new year’s resolutions. I try to be attentive to my shortcomings and areas where I have room for improvement throughout the year. When I need to resolve to do something, I’d rather just go ahead and address that issue. But, if you do your resolutions at the new year, great. If you’ve made any this year, I wish you success in keeping them.

I have, however, been thinking about the state of things now, what might come in the future, and what I want to work towards. I’ve been re-evaluating various things in my life and trying to judge them according to long-term goals. Of course, the only way to reach a long-term goal is through a succession of short-term goals.

So, with that in mind, I’ve made a list of goals for the new year. I wrote these down a couple weeks ago as a way to help me focus. I’m posting them here now as a way to make me accountable. Hopefully I can complete these things and build upon them in the future.

So... my 10 goals for 2010:

1. Pay off debt -- We’ve paid off the credit cards a couple times, then eventually let the balance build up again. This year I want to get them paid off for good. Ideally, I’d like to pay off the credit cards this year and the van next year. So that means managing money better and being more frugal. Good thing I still like Ramen noodles. :)

2. Organize the garage -- About a year and a half ago we remodeled the garage to make it into two rooms: an office and a workshop area. While I’ve been able to use it all this time, it has become very cluttered and unorganized (and was never really organized to start with). That needs to change. So I’m going to try to sell, give away, or trash the things I don’t need (which will be really hard for me, since I’m somewhat of a pack rat). But it needs to be done. I need a filing system that is better than just stacks of papers. I also need a better workspace, particularly in the office, that will be more conducive to productivity.

3. Plant a garden -- We started to do this last year but weren’t able to follow through with it. This year we try again. We need to make a plan of what we want to grow based on what we can & will use. Then we need to find out when in the spring each one will be planted, have a plot tilled, and start gardening. We may or may not try canning this year. It mostly depends on how much our garden produces. But canning will likely be a “next year” project.

4. Get ready for animals -- No, not a dog (sorry, mom). We’ve talked about getting calves, goats, and/or chickens. We’ll probably pick one of those three to start with. Getting an animal/animals will mean fencing, housing, storage. I don’t expect to have all of this ready to go by this spring. So my goal on this is to do all the necessary research and make all the necessary preparations to be able to do this next spring.

5. Build food stockpile -- Just because you never know what might happen (job loss, ice storm, natural disaster, civil war, etc.), it’s a good idea to have a stockpile of food and water. If we buy a little bit each trip to the store, it won’t be so bad. Of course, I’ll also need a place to store this. Another reason to organize & clean out the garage.

6. Bible study -- Three parts to this goal. First, I’m planning to read through the Bible (OT & NT) this year. Second, I’m going to try and have my sermons done before Saturday each week. That means picking a topic (this is always the hard part) & writing the lesson earlier in the week. Third, I’m going to start working on my long-term goal of writing a commentary on the Bible. No writing just yet, but I’m going to start with a chapter a day (5 days a week), outlining, identifying themes, noting questions & difficult passages, etc. After going through the Bible once this way, then the second time around I’ll be able to build off of what I have and make a more detailed outline. The third time through, I’ll start on the rough draft. That’s the tentative plan. If I keep up with the chapter per day schedule, I should be able to start writing the first draft in about 9.5 years. Pretty close to my original target of age 40.

7. Etsy shop -- I’ve learned to do glass etching. So far, the only projects I’ve done have either been for me or as gifts for other people. Eventually I’d like to be able to sell some of the stuff I do. Etsy’s a good place to do it. So I need to decide what kind of products I’d like to sell and set up a shop.

8. Writing -- About a month ago I mentioned that I’ve been wanting to get into fiction writing. I’m making it one of my goals this year to participate in NaNoWriMo in November. I plan on writing some other things, short stories and such, in the meantime, as well as brainstorming, so I can complete that this year.

9. Reading -- I hated assigned reading in high school. I remember reading on my own until they started with the summer reading schedules, then I had to read the school’s hand-picked books all year round. Well, I decided to start reading again. I went to the library before our trip to Arkansas, picked up a book, and read it on the trip (not in the car, I was driving), and enjoyed doing that again. So my goal is to read six new books this year. That may not seem like much to you readers, and I may do that in six months or less, but I wanted to pick a reasonable number, given everything else that’s going on.

10. Redo the kitchen -- This one is for Rachel. She has patiently waited for the kitchen to be redone (walls & cabinets painted, new countertops & sink). We have the new countertops and sink stored in the garage. We just need to get the paint and find the time to do this. Plus, it’s one more piece of clutter that can be gotten out of the garage.

So there we go. Wish me luck. We’ll see how well I did in a year.
  • split_rock
    That's quite a list! (Eventually, do you think you may need a dog to herd those calves?) :)
    by split_rock at 01/14/10 11:50PM
  • mjintexas
    Wow, big list! I'm with you though on just trying to improve where I see need... I don't really keep resolutions well.
    by mjintexas at 01/14/10 11:52PM
  • cbonk
    It's so funny that you said that about new year's resolutions - it is almost verbatim what I said to Josh just the other day (and also what I attempt to practice)! : ) #8 - NaNoWriMo sort of flopped for me because you can't bring any pre-written prose with you and I decided to do the "contest" at the last minute so I just whipped a story off the top of my head that went no where on a weak (or nonexistent) plot...I'm going to do better this year! I wish I COULD have brought in my 50+ pages...it would have helped drive me to work on what I already had, but I understand how that's not the point. What kind of books do you like to read? Are you reading fiction or non? Good luck with everything and let us know if we can help at all!
    by cbonk at 01/15/10 12:31AM
  • 23_bravo_7
    I told Pat when we moved into this house 12 years ago, "You can do what you want with the rest of the house but the garage is for the cars". As a cop I saw TOO many cases where people with garages left cars out to be damaged or broken into.

    Your idea of stockpiling food is a good one. Living in hurricane country we do.

    Pat and I have lived debt free for years. We've lived in two paid off houses. We set a goal of no retirement with a house payment and had this house paid off a couple of years before I retired.
    by 23_bravo_7 at 01/15/10 3:29AM
  • bdoc
    Ambitious.
    by bdoc at 01/15/10 5:45AM
  • dcroush
    Wow, a commentary?! That's awesome. I am really impressed by your ambition in undertaking something of that magnitude! I'll be praying for your success and patience on that project :)
    by dcroush at 01/15/10 7:14AM
  • holly_ann
    Your list is amazing! I wish you the best!
    by holly_ann at 01/15/10 3:49PM
  • erik_powery
    May I pre-order Your Commentary?
    by erik_powery at 01/18/10 1:05PM