:)

at 03/13/10 3:22PM *
My awesome husband got our hot water heater fixed last night. I am so impressed by him. Even with things he's never done before, he knows how to find out what to do, and will then give it a good try. I don't think I know of anything he hasn't been able to do yet. But whether it worked or not, I'm most impressed by the fact that he will try. That's really the most important thing and best attribute -- to be willing to try! And there is something to be said for spectating and offering a helping hand; I now know more about hot water heaters than I did previously. :-) I love learning...whatever it may be, I love increasing my "sphere of knowledge."

Ladies class this morning went well, even though only three of us were there. Nice and cozy, and we finished up on time for probably the first time yet. :-) I thoroughly enjoy teaching class!

We're leaving later today to head to Peoria for a few fun days with my little sister, new brother-in-law, cousin and cousin-in-law. So eager! The "fun time" with Jarret and with them is most welcome. Bring on the card games!

First day of Spring (by the calendar) is one week from today. And tonight daylight savings time begins. Aaaawesome!! I dearly love that extra hour of sunlight at the end of the day.

Have a terrific weekend everybody! And please, add your thoughts to the previous blog. I'm very interested to hear them! :)

Sherri

Perfectionism

at 03/12/10 3:16PM
Some people couldn't seem to care less about themselves: their work ethic, their morals, how they speak, act, talk, live... and then there are those on the opposite extreme, who are extremely hard on themselves, expect themselves to do everything right, know everything automatically, get everything right on the first try, never stumble, are always trying to do and be better, bottom line: perfectionists. Doesn't matter that it's not a matter of sin or right & wrong, they have to be right! Anything less is cause to mentally beat themselves up.

As time goes by, I realize over and over that I am one of those Perfectionists. I'm not hard on others. I quite easily understand that people aren't perfect, make mistakes, don't know some things and have to learn, etc, and will be very encouraging to them. But when it's dealing with myself, well, then none of those understanding things seem to apply, and I just can't accept that I wasn't perfect. It's very frusterating, because nobody is perfect, yet you want yourself to be, and it's quite literally an impossibly high standard.

Anybody else ever feel this way? If so, how do you deal with it? How do you accept yourself (as in not beating yourself up over whatever it was)? There's a balance to be had, where you want to do the best that you can, yet you realize that you won't ever be perfect. Sometimes I think I'm doing better at finding that balance, then other times I totally blow it. So tell me, what helps you??

Sherri


"They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they'd make up their minds." ~Wilt Chamberlain



"Congratulations! You're not perfect! It's ridiculous to want to be perfect anyway. But then, everybody's ridiculous sometimes, except perfect people. You know what perfect is? Perfect is not eating or drinking or talking or moving a muscle or making even the teensiest mistake. Perfect is never doing anything wrong - which means never doing anything at all. Perfect is boring! So you're not perfect! Wonderful! Have fun! Eat things that give you bad breath! Trip over your own shoelaces! Laugh! Let somebody else laugh at you! Perfect people never do any of those things. All they do is sit around and sip weak tea and think about how perfect they are. But they're really not one-hundred-percent perfect anyway. You should see them when they get the hiccups! Phooey! Who needs 'em? You can drink pickle juice and imitate gorillas and do silly dances and sing stupid songs and wear funny hats and be as imperfect as you please and still be a good person. Good people are hard to find nowadays. And they're a lot more fun than perfect people any day of the week." ~Stephen Manes, Be a Perfect Person in Just Three Days!
  • pami
    i am harder on myself then anyone else. i will beat my self up for days when i make a mistake. i feel as though those around me will see me as less of a person since i made a mistake. then one of my employees spoke to my husband about how i was isolating myself and making things around me miserable for all. my mistakes were the same as everyone else's. we all have crisises (sp) that effect us, but we do not always realize how we handle them effects everyone else.
    now i try to beat myself up less, learn from the mistake and move on. and now my employees can tell me (and not run to my husband) that i am not myself. at least they want the old me back.
    by pami at 03/12/10 5:24PM
  • puppymaster
    I just read an article that said that highly effective people know how to determine when perfectionism is appropriate, or when 'just getting by' is a better use of time. Of course, the article didn't elaborate any further on how to make these determinations!
    by puppymaster at 03/12/10 6:35PM
  • sallyanne
    We have company (a day early-they made good time on the road!)...just saw this before they arrived and wanted to come back and let you know that I will definitely answer these good thoughts. I wanted to also see other responses. I'll be sneaking a few breaks so I'll definitely dedicate some time to this.

    This is a topic I enjoy because I am rather a perfectionist (and I probably appear to be even more of one than I am if that makes sense), but I don't let it 'get to me' or make me unhappy or beat myself up as a general rule. I will have to think more on it and come back. I think it is tied to the idea of expectations--another thing I like to write on...
    by sallyanne at 03/12/10 6:39PM
  • worker_at_home
    "Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might....." Eccl 9:10 I've heard that some think this means we must do things perfectly. But where does it say that? In fact, where is it implied? It isn't. It says "do it with thy might..". Do a good job. Do it well. Do your best. God doesn't expect perfection from us because He knows we can't attain perfection, but He does expect us to do our best. Is our best TODAY the same as our best was TEN YEARS AGO? No.
    by worker_at_home at 03/13/10 2:24AM
  • worker_at_home
    (sorry, my keyboard had a tantrum) Our best will differ from time to time, as our circumstances change. I didn't accomplish nearly as much yesterday as I did last Thursday, but the circumstances of my day were different. I did my best both days though. And God was pleased with my efforts on both days. I'm sure that nothing I did on either of those days was perfect, but it didn't have to be, because I did my best. I think this expectation of perfection can be a tool of satan, if we're not careful. Ironically, it can distract us from our service in His work and cause us to be ineffective. If you are a child of God, try to always do your best. If you aren't a child of God, then you need to get in the race...........and run "with thy might"!
    by worker_at_home at 03/13/10 2:45AM
  • sallyanne
    Well, she beat me to my favorite line. It is always my goal to do my personal best at whatever I do...and like she wisely notes my personal best might not always be the same. When we had all that company and I was sick, I did not try to be perfect...I did my best to be a good hostess. My best that weekend was not the same as my best the previous weekend, but it was the best I could do in the given situation.

    At all times I try to be the best daughter of God, wife of Jonathan and mother to my six children that I can be. And, I make mistakes. Lots of them. And, I don't like mistakes, but I make them and then I rise up again and do better and learn from them.

    I am not perfect and I think it wise to remember that only Christ was perfect. Because I keep this in the forefront of my mind, I don't struggle with the concept of perfectionism. I am redeemed, I am saved, I have put away sins and I try to be holy (set apart) like He is holy...but I will never be perfect.

    I really believe that Eccl 9:10 is a wonderful guide for us. Honestly, I think little of 'perfectionism' -- meaning I don't think about being perfect by definition or somebody's standards. This has been something that I have learned over the past two decades...there was a time that I struggled with some ideas of perfectionism...i.e. I have struggled in the past with trying to have/maintain the 'perfect' body...but I have finally learned that seeking to be healthful is more important than the number on the scale.

    I do use the term 'perfect' and I fear that I need to be more careful with that...it may be misleading to those who don't know me. For instance, I will say, my husband is the perfect man for me...what I mean is that he is a 'perfect fit', 'just what I need', etc. He is not a perfect man, but he is 'perfectly suited for me'...I might say that something turned out perfectly...I mean that it was the best it could be, just right....so I even use the word somewhat accomadatively.

    I do like to do things right the first time...if I don't I just fix it and move on. I try to learn things so that I can make good decisions...when I fail I dig deeper, study more, try harder. I think we ought to be running the race always doing our best...but realizing that it is OUR best and that we WILL make mistakes. I think I have found the balance with this. I have expectations based on my energy level, my situation, and my circumstances and I desire to do what I think I should with those factors...but if plan A doesn't work, I move to plan B. I reevaluate my expectations before I determine if I need to do better or if I'm expecting too much. My husband is a great help with this! He keeps me grounded and balanced.
    by sallyanne at 03/13/10 4:01AM
  • misssonja
    You might want to keep your husband's talents secret, lest I ask to rent him. :)
    by misssonja at 03/13/10 8:13PM
  • littlelamb
    James fixed ours last night, too. Right now he's working on installing a nifty pump thingy that makes the hot water instantly availably at any tap at any time- no more waiting for the hot water!
    by littlelamb at 03/13/10 11:22PM
  • sallyanne
    Wonderful to have a fix-it husband! I've been blessed with that on many occasions and they are so handy :)
    Thanks for your lovely comment on Hannah's article!
    by sallyanne at 03/14/10 10:17AM
  • canardmom23
    The longest journey must still start with the first step! _ proverb. But why is the first step always the hardest?! lol. I've learned that if you can just muster enough courage to do that then you can do almost anything you set out to do!

    Also, perfection isn't never messing up. Perfection is in how you handle or correct things when you do mess up!
    by canardmom23 at 03/14/10 4:09PM
  • tryphena
    The Biblical meaning of the word "perfect" is "complete." We can be complete without being free of imperfections. I was much harder on myself as a young adult and, ironically, made a lot of mistakes (sins, even) as a result of my quest for perfection, or at least the illusion of perfection. When I tell a little child that his drawing is "perfect," I don't mean that every little detail is accurate; I mean that it was adequate for the situation. When I strive for perfection, I am striving to be adequate and complete.
    by tryphena at 03/15/10 9:11AM

uh-oh

at 03/11/10 10:53PM
We have no hot water and the hot water heater has been acting up a bit here and there of late. Cold showers are not a fun thing. Here's hoping it's short-lived and not a huge problem to fix!

Today was another beautiful day. I even opened a couple windows in the library because it was getting warm. Soooo nice! Love it, love it, love it!!

Sherri
  • bestill
    I can't stand cold showers!! We were without hot water at camp last year for a day or two. Brrr! We had rain this morning but then it got really nice here, too. So, will you be at Paris Ave. Sun. or are you worshiping in Pekin?
    by bestill at 03/11/10 11:19PM
  • trevaesa
    Hope the water heater straightens up for you! Have you tried flushing it out to see if that helps?
    by trevaesa at 03/11/10 11:42PM
  • seashelll
    It's been warmer here, too. Yesterday or the other day it may have been sixty degrees.
    by seashelll at 03/11/10 11:58PM
  • misssonja
    Rut-roh!

    Today was dreary until about 4 pm when the sun came out briefly -- now it's raining. I ate a salad and tomato soup for lunch, then bought myself some lavender-scented cleaning products and squirted my kitchen and bathrooms with it. I should do a lot more, but I'm lazy. Maybe I'll pry myself up and iron the clothes that are mocking me...
    by misssonja at 03/12/10 1:29AM
  • littlelamb
    Same problem here today. I just reset the pilot light for the second time- I hope it stays lit this time!
    by littlelamb at 03/12/10 1:55AM
  • crystalized
    Boo cold showers. Yay open windows!
    by crystalized at 03/12/10 2:16AM

Looking for others

at 03/10/10 6:51PM *
Off and on this week, in spite of the beautiful weather, I've been feeling pretty sad and lonesome. When I'm happy, I'm happy, but when I'm sad, I'm thoroughly sad. I think hormones are playing a part, to be sure, but lonesomeness really got a grip on me and I've had a hard time shaking it off. Anyway, I realized that #1 I just feel burnt out and #2 I just feel plain old lonely.

#1 I've been so busy lately and trying to make good use of my time, and while last week was great and profitable, this week I just crashed. The week after we got back from our honeymoon, Jarret started working on the new roof for the farmhouse, and in the seven months since then, we have been constantly working on one project or another. I am just so very ready to get moved and be settled in to stay. I haven't put up as many decorations here at the trailer as I would otherwise, because I know we're not going to be here long. Anyway, while there are times here and there when Jarret can slow down and spend an evening relaxing at home, it's not very often, and even when he is home, he's usually researching online for info on various things we need for the house. He's very driven to work hard and get the house done, and I'm so thankful for him and all his hard work. But, sometimes it feels like we are kinda short on "relax time" and I guess I'm just tired of working on stuff! I want to just go have fun with my husband, like we did on our once-a-month visits when we were getting to know eachother! (And I know that those were times when we scheduled time for eachother and let other things go. But still, sometimes I miss those "carefree" weekends.)

And of course, the end is in sight. We are hoping to be able to move in the house next month sometime, so it is almost here. and Jarret will be even more glad than I to be settled in, I know. And furthermore, we are taking a trip up to Peoria this weekend, and spending time with my sister, brother-in-law, cousin and his wife. Jarret and I will have a couple days to just visit and have fun before he has to go to his work-training on Tues and Wed. (We were able to combine his work trip with a couple days off and make a fun trip out of it.) So there, I have all that to look forward to, and yet I still have been feeling down.

#2 I am not a huge socializer. I don't need to be around people all day long, and would rather not, actually. I like my space and quiet time. But going from living with my family and working full time to here, where it's just Jarret and I and he works a lot of hours, and I just work 12 hours a week, has been quite an adjustment. I knew very few people when I moved here. I think I've done well overall, but occasionally I get really lonesome. Not homesick, just lonesome. The ladies in the church (besides the elderly ladies) all work and aren't available to get together with during the week. Of Jarret's friends and relatives, the women all either work or have young children and can't get together very easily, or on the spur of the moment. So occasionally I just find myself really wishing for some female company. I also am starting to really dislike what is now the norm for most married women to work full time outside of the home!

Anyway, I was talking with my mom this morning (so thankful for phones!) and trying not to get all tearful again, and she gave me good advice and a timely reminder that I really needed to hear. She reminded me that when we feel lonely, one of the best things we can do is get out and go lift someone else up. Others are lonely too, and need the attention and help. I appreciated hearing that, and it gave me the final push I needed to do what I'd been contemplating, and call a young woman who I've befriended, along with her mom, through working at the library. I called at lunchtime, to see if she'd like to come with me to town while I picked out some seeds for my garden. It just so happened that she and her mom were going to be right in town anyway, so it all fell into place, and I was able to spend a couple hours visiting with her and a little with her mom. Her mom works at an assisted living place just across the street from our trailer park, so I went over with them and met one of the ladies she was visiting. I also talked with them about volunteering (another idea I've had in the back of my mind for a while) and have someone's number to call and talk with about it. It brightened up my afternoon tremendously. :)

So! Bottom line is...when feeling down, go look for people to spend time with, who need some cheering up themselves. It'll make both of you feel better. :)


And...I've now got my cilantro, green onion and cantaloupe seeds...and a good dose of sunshine, too! :)


Look for somebody that might need cheering up, ok?
Sherri


"A candle loses nothing of its brightness by lighting another candle."
  • apbooklover04
    I enjoyed talking to you on the phone last night, and I'm so excited to get to see you in a few days! You'll get all the social time you can handle while you're up here with us :P.
    I don't know if you and Jarret do anything like this already, but Paul and I have one night every week (usually Monday) that we call date night. We don't usually go anywhere but we just make a really nice meal, watch a movie together, talk, and relax. It really helps to have one night set aside to do that, guilt-free.
    I think volunteering is a great idea. I've been thinking more about doing that myself. I've got some options in mind, just haven't decided which one I'd like to commit to on a regular basis.
    by apbooklover04 at 03/10/10 8:26PM
  • misssonja
    Sounds like you had one too many weeks of work and were a little overdue for fun. I hope you have a good time this weekend and get recharged. Working on a house is great, but it does get old and you have to take a break once in a while. Maybe you guys should be intentional about schedule in some relaxation (ie, regular date night).

    You are a wise young lady to realize that wives and especially mothers need to be at home. Part time work (or maybe working full time before babies are born) is okay, but working with babies at home is just TOO MUCH. You're doing the right thing by making a welcoming home and remaining feminine for your nice husband. And your mom's advice is even wiser -- nothing helps a pitiful, lonesome, sad spirit more than investing your heart in someone else, especially if that person needs the attention. If you can borrow a favorite kiddo from time to time, I find that little folks are especially good for my spirits -- they are selfish in an innocent way (not cognizant of your troubles), and they will wear you out so that you want to sleep, and then you wake up refreshed.

    Here are some other options for a mopey day (we all have them!): Clean something REALLY GOOD while listening to happy music -- purge some junk or old clothes -- and use a cleaning product that smells clean and fresh. Open the windows and get some fresh air, even if it's cold outside. Cut open a lemon or an orange and inhale it. Get out of the house, even if you have to wander around on your own. Eat something fresh and good for you, like a really good salad. Follow that with something naughty. Go sit at a coffee shop and read, or take a cup of coffee and a book to a park. Get yourself some pretty flowers (you can find them for cheap!), paint your toenails a bright spring color, get a new tube of sheer bright lipgloss, make some lemonade, anything that injects a little sunshine. You'll be a new woman, or at least a little less mopey. :)
    by misssonja at 03/10/10 9:39PM
  • apbooklover04
    Wow, that's some awesome advice. I'll have to remember that the next time I have a bad day :).
    by apbooklover04 at 03/11/10 1:52AM
  • azuresky42
    You are a great encouragement to me, Sherri! Thank you for being a Christ-like model. (and yay for "light" quotes!)
    by azuresky42 at 03/11/10 4:54AM
  • jkmram
    I second the recommendation for date night... it can be a wonderful tradition to start, even if you just have a special quiet evening at home with each other or rent a dvd to watch together. Picnics and quiet walks together are fun, too, and very inexpensive. :o) Good for you for reaching out. It's hard to do sometimes, but very rewarding!
    by jkmram at 03/11/10 9:46AM
  • onelittlecandle
    Thank you all for your wonderful thoughts and advice! I am loving reading everything! Truly, I am very thankful for all my friends...I just wish y'all lived a little closer! :)
    by onelittlecandle at 03/11/10 9:49AM
  • tryphena
    I love all of her advice! Wouldn't it be fun to do some of those things with her? Hang in there--we all have those days, but they don't last long. If they do, we are not handling them correctly. Looking outside of ourselves (after a little self-indulgence) is the answer!
    by tryphena at 03/11/10 11:16AM
  • misssonja
    I need to take my own advice today. I'm not really feeling down, but the weather is dReArY (wet dark dank blech) for about the third day in a row -- yuck.

    I found a new cooking website last night, and you might enjoy it, too -- Annie's Eats. Looking at pretty, bright, cooking/baking blogs cheers me, and I found a few healthy recipes among the naughty ones :)
    by misssonja at 03/11/10 12:07PM
  • cbonk
    We have a little container kitchen garden. Every year, I grow one "bucket" of the same stuff - sage, basil (mostly basil), etc., and reserve one bucket to try something new to see how it will work. We have tried "container" tomatoes (nope), strawberries (yeah...didn't get any of those either) and cilantro. Between the squirrels and the neighbor kids, we haven't ever gotten any fruit from the experiment bucket! But we eat a lot of pesto in the summer from the other one!
    by cbonk at 03/11/10 3:11PM
  • canardmom23
    Your mom is a wise woman. Thanks for passing on the advice!
    by canardmom23 at 03/11/10 10:50PM

Happy Monday!!

at 03/08/10 2:49PM
It's a beauteous, sunshiny day! The birds are singing, the sun feels warm, and there is a gentle breeze. Spring is in the air. *happy sigh*

I named the calf I've been bottlefeeding "Perky" because she's been a lot more feisty the last couple days. She has an infection in her foot, which looks really gross, but she's perking up now, moving around more, tugging on the bottle, flapping her tail, and all-around looking a lot more lively. Looks like she's going to make it. Yay!! I'd rather like to try my hand at teaching her how to drink from a bucket. It'd be a lot faster and easier.

Jarret and I have half the kitchen cabinet doors on now, and they look great! Painting those dark wood cabinets white was a huge improvement. (Thanks for the idea, Mom!) We're going to wait till the linoleum is put down in the kitchen before putting on the bottom cabinet doors...don't want to take a chance on them getting scratched.

Yesterday it was so nice out that I asked Jarret if he'd go on a walk with me before we went in and started working on the farmhouse, and so we did. We went out in one of the fields, and it was so relaxing to just walk and talk and be together. The skyline was pretty, and the wheat is starting to grow. The cat, Snappy, followed us all the way out. Life is sweet. :)

Have an awesome day!
Sherri
  • sallyanne
    Lovely update, Sherri!! Your life reminds me of Janette Oke books ;) -- but better written!!
    by sallyanne at 03/08/10 4:30PM
  • tryphena
    I take it "Perky" is a pet...otherwise, perhaps you would have named her "Dinner"?
    by tryphena at 03/08/10 4:53PM
  • marmee
    I remember these early marriage days. You make me smile. :)
    by marmee at 03/08/10 5:06PM
  • trevaesa
    You make me smile, too. :) Happy Monday back atcha!
    by trevaesa at 03/08/10 5:49PM
  • canardmom23
    Happy days!
    by canardmom23 at 03/08/10 9:11PM
  • worker_at_home
    you are most welcome! so glad you both like the looks of it. enjoyed talking to you over the weekend...................8-)
    by worker_at_home at 03/09/10 1:32AM
  • lori_in_pa
    Thank you for your kind words and good thoughts on my blog. Nice to "meet" you!
    by lori_in_pa at 03/09/10 9:44AM
  • jkmram
    :o) lovely memories-to-be.
    by jkmram at 03/09/10 10:10AM
  • onelittlecandle
    Actually, Perky isn't a pet; I'm just naming her because I think she deserves a little bit of TLC. :) The cattle that Jarret and his dad get are bought pregnant, have their calves, and then sold. The calves, once they are grown, are sold, too. The old ones are destined for meat most likely, the young ones for breeding. They don't want to mess with bulls anymore, so there's just a lot of buying, having their babies and then being sold, I guesss!
    by onelittlecandle at 03/10/10 6:00PM