Favorites

at 04/13/07 11:21AM

You may have seen this email, but I've selected a few of my favorites to share...

Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country.

*He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

*From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p. m. instead of 7:30.

*Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p. m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p. m. at a speed of 35 mph.

*He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

And my number 1 favorite....

*He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

6-25 of 25 comments « prev 1 2 next »

Well I haven't ever seen them and I thought they were very funny. Happy Birthday!

by vav at 04/13/07 8:34PM
I hope you have a happy birthday. The kind of birthday where you unexpectedly find lots of money from some anonymous donor. Or maybe you'll just find $5 in your pocket. Either way, hope it's great!

by cellophane at 04/14/07 7:30AM
happy birthday! i'll call you later :)

by isaacgholman at 04/14/07 9:20AM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Love ya!

by sweett at 04/14/07 9:42AM
Happy Birthday!!

by sjelstrod at 04/14/07 11:51AM
Happy Birthday!

by ktjomoody at 04/14/07 7:34PM
i just got home, and fortunately, my coat didn't get caught in the door ;) i'll take a retarded hug from you any day, dahling :) see you in the a.m.

by isaacgholman at 04/14/07 9:21PM
Those are hilarious. I see that it must be your birthday. Happy birthday! :)

by mjintexas at 04/15/07 10:32PM
did you tell me you'd be gone on Monday too?? girl...

by jdickens at 04/16/07 7:42AM
Hope you had an awesome birthday!

by mellymc at 04/18/07 10:46AM
I like the jeopardy one. Such a surreal eerie occurrence.

by sweetmelissa at 04/18/07 1:41PM
Are you going out of town this weekend? Will you be here Sunday? If you are call me.

by email at 04/20/07 10:18AM
Well, I do like calls.

by email at 04/20/07 1:23PM
Oh, I know! I was wiped at Thunder, too. Guess it was the sun or something.

by sweetmelissa at 04/24/07 9:08AM
I don't know if you knew, but I'm working at Hitcents for right now, and you got some mail...want it?

by sweett at 04/24/07 9:13AM
it was really great seeing you too! hows life?

by zenski at 04/24/07 10:46AM
we both have april birthdays? cool! it was good to hang out with you last sat! did you get burned? i did a little bit. it definitely could have been worse!

i will be in town this sunday. maybe i will see ya!

by britt22 at 04/27/07 8:19PM
thanks for the birthday wish!

by britt22 at 04/27/07 8:20PM
Hey Erin! I guess I missed your birthday, so Happy Birthday!

by wilbur at 04/30/07 8:15AM
Do I win the analogy competition?

by aarcraft at 05/01/07 10:21PM

I didn't want to leave.

at 03/21/07 8:55PM

First things first, I guess I should have mentioned that I bought an insane number of Payday candy bars as the giveaway for our booth. We were in San Diego to exhibit at a Microsoft conference and as a payroll company we give out Payday candy bars. Cheesy, I know.

I hate Microsoft (well, maybe just their show management people). Good thing I was already a Mac person.

I love San Diego. I want to go back for an extended vacation or something. Can you go on a sabbatical at the age of 25?

Oh! Guess who I saw on the beach of the Hotel del Coronado? Mary Lynn Rajskub. That's right...24's Chloe! She was just chilling on the beach like we were. Must have had some downtime from CTU, or she's been killed off...hmmmm.

San Diego photos:

6-25 of 25 comments « prev 1 2 next »

Is that Hotel Del???

by michelle at 03/22/07 8:38AM
You saw chloe? Did she look happy?? She always looks SOOO uncomfortable on the show!

by krazykrizn at 03/22/07 11:20AM
I'm jealous. I've never been to Cali before!

by robbio at 03/22/07 2:51PM
How was the trip? I'm very jealous!!!

by mellymc at 03/23/07 1:32PM
those pics are absolutely BEAUTIFUL!! I especially love the panoramic one with the wave. I love the ocean! :)

by cellophane at 03/23/07 6:18PM
Sounds like fun...when are you visiting here? We had lots of fun on our trip too...ready to go on another trip though...isn't that sad? I want to be a professional trip-taker :)

by mellymc at 03/23/07 6:20PM
Yes, Fred and I are so hooked on 24, it just gets better and better.

by kristiegore at 03/23/07 7:14PM
hey, did you know that the future president's mother worships with us at brentwood??? ;)

by isaacgholman at 03/24/07 4:37AM
San Diego is one of my favorite places in California.

by chapwoman at 03/24/07 2:34PM
I felt kind of silly, but it was fun! You should join us.

by beejay at 03/24/07 8:50PM
btw, isn't San Diego beautiful?

by beejay at 03/24/07 8:52PM
I heart the Del

by vav at 03/25/07 11:07AM
:) We are so excited!!! My first doc visit is Apr 27.

by haileym at 03/25/07 12:23PM
Thank you Erin. It is comforting and so are your prayers.

by antiisaacholman at 03/27/07 1:58PM
i hope you are feeling better!!!

by isaacgholman at 03/28/07 3:56AM
Hey there! San Diego is one of my favorite places, as well! with work, I've been 2-3 times.

by dfowler at 04/04/07 6:38PM
Ummm so its the big 25 soon, right? What are you doing for it?

by mellymc at 04/04/07 8:49PM
Hope your party was fun!

by mellymc at 04/07/07 9:41PM
So good to see you at church on Sunday! Sorry I was being so chatty with Durrel! I'm easily distracted. Hope all is well in Nashville, still. Glad to hear you're doing okay!

by sweetmelissa at 04/09/07 2:56PM
Hey Erin! Give me a call okay!

by jenfc00 at 04/09/07 5:37PM

$

at 03/07/07 7:12AM

Creditors have better memories than debtors. ~Benjamin Franklin

Well my creditors can forget about me because I'm finally 100% debt free! Dave Ramsey would be so proud. This is just the best feeling in the world. I know it won't last long, but I'll enjoy it while I can.

I have purchased 1200 Payday candy bars this week. If you're looking for Paydays at a few select Nashville Wal-Marts this week, you may be out of luck.

San Diego in T minus 75 hours. I CANNOT wait. I'm in desperate need of some warm weather.

I think I'm in a tragedy. But things are starting to look like a comedy. Or maybe it's something else altogether.

2-21 of 21 comments « prev 1 2 next »

BOOYA.

by jdickens at 03/07/07 7:30AM
Congrats!! :)

by mjintexas at 03/07/07 7:46AM
I heart Dave Ramsey --do you have envelopes?

by vav at 03/07/07 2:33PM
i hope you have a great trip! we must hang out when you get back.

by isaacgholman at 03/07/07 7:58PM
Congratulations!!! :) (especially for finding the paydays! :) Have a blast in San D!

by marla at 03/07/07 9:08PM
hahaha....sounds like somebody has recently watched "Stranger than Fiction." I enjoyed that movie, and I'm pretty sure I'm in a comedy!

by cellophane at 03/07/07 9:39PM
We are having wonderful warm weather. My tulips and daylillies are coming up. Enjoy San Diego!! Hope all is well for you. Miss you!

by haileym at 03/08/07 8:03AM
yeah!!! congrats!!! paying off debt is such a great feeling!

by the_kim at 03/08/07 7:02PM
I will miss you my friend!

by email at 03/09/07 1:32PM
Yay! What are you doing there?

by mellymc at 03/09/07 4:41PM
congrats! I'm pretty sure now you are in a comedy :) HAve a great trip!

by sjelstrod at 03/10/07 11:12AM
That is great. We are working on the same thing- except for the house debt but that is a great tax write off!

by chapwoman at 03/10/07 1:35PM
why all the Payday candy bars?

by beejay at 03/11/07 7:39PM
Yeah...what's up with the Payday candybars? Congrats on the debt free thing. We're working on it (thanks Dave R) but not quite there yet. Soon!

by angiebrewer at 03/14/07 10:09AM
Cookout this Saturday, March 17 from 4:00 - 8:00 p.m. at the Browns' house

by jaclynbrown at 03/14/07 10:34AM
CONGRATS on being debt free! woohoo!! That's a great and very commendable accomplishment:)

by jesspico at 03/16/07 7:54PM
Yes, we bought a baby bathtub and bath toys. $20 per person. Misty also gave some money for materials for my mom, but that's up to you.

by jaclynbrown at 03/20/07 1:11PM
We wished you could be with us. Everything was sooo cute.

by jaclynbrown at 03/20/07 1:11PM
Hope I didn't mess up your IKEA trip--were you one of the ones that was going?

by vav at 03/20/07 7:16PM
She paid $60 for the materials, so Misty and I each paid $20. But really, whatever you can do is fine. She's not asking for it, I just thought it would be nice to reimburse her.

by jaclynbrown at 03/20/07 7:19PM

The next Y2K?

at 02/20/07 8:54AM

As a girl who works in software, I'm greatly enjoying the panic surrounding the Y2K of 2007 - Daylight Savings Time! Let me tell you, people are panicking around here. Will our software explode?? Will all of our customers' clocks meltdown?? Me, I'll just kick my feet back and enjoy the 4 extra weeks of sunlight.

Mmmm... sunlight...

by mjintexas at 02/20/07 9:05AM
Why are people freaking out? I can't wait for spring forward, I'm ready for the days to be longer. Hope you're doing good:)

by kristiegore at 02/20/07 9:13AM
Congress changed daylight savings, so starting this year...daylight savings will start three weeks earlier and end one week later.

by tucket at 02/20/07 9:53AM
Really? How awesome is that?!?!?

by krazykrizn at 02/20/07 10:12AM
That's awesome, I had no idea. Yay for day light savings, I love it!

by kristiegore at 02/20/07 10:27AM
that's cool, where are you worshipping down in ATL this weekend?

by thedelmccouryband at 02/20/07 11:53AM
4 extra weeks of longer naps on sunday! that's really the only way this affects me.

by guyface at 02/20/07 12:57PM
awesome! hahaha

by jesspico at 02/20/07 7:02PM
I had not heard this. I really need to watch current events more. :)

by beejay at 02/20/07 7:10PM
Software exoploding?! LOL that would be a site. Id love to see that happen just to see reactions. Of course...not everywhere, cuz I need my computer.

by sjelstrod at 02/21/07 7:27AM
so what did you think of little miss sunshine?

by guyface at 02/22/07 5:05AM
Have fun in the ATL!

by email at 02/22/07 3:40PM
As a sysadmin with lots of customers who want accurate timestamps on their data so that they can bill their customers correctly, I wouldn't say that I'm panicking. It's more accurate to say that I'm about ready to hunt down every politician who was involved in passing the DST bill. I don't know what I'll do when I find them. Maybe load I'll Windows 3.1 on their computers. But that might be too evil, so maybe I'll stick to basic torture.

by quo_iure at 02/24/07 2:12PM
Just wantd to tell you she is pregnant! I'm just so excited!

by mellymc at 02/27/07 6:52PM
Yes, 110%!

by sjelstrod at 03/01/07 8:47PM
I know...YAY!!!!

by mellymc at 03/05/07 1:49PM
What? Y2k explosion? What would the world do? Become sane again!

by haileym at 03/06/07 6:16PM

My downfall

at 02/12/07 11:42AM

Many of you know that I have a problem with stairs. I fall up them, fall down them, fly parallel to them. It was almost six years ago that my most memorable fall occured: during a prayer at the old Temple Terrace church building. I fell down the entire flight of stairs. That story comes back to haunt me occasionally and did today also. Ah, good times, good times.

My other favorite falling memory happened right before I left Bowling Green. I started falling forward at the top of the stairs in my townhouse and was flying over the stairs like Superman. About halfway down I realized that I was about to die, so I pulled some sort of Ninja move and got myself turned around mid-air. I landed hard but thankfully it was my feet, and not my head, that hit the floor. Sadly, there was no one home to witness that fall. I think I was momentarily granted super powers for that occasion.

12-31 of 31 comments « prev 1 2 next »

you need one of those electric basket things that carries you down the stairs :)

by robbio at 02/12/07 1:34PM
i hate babysitting. this is the third time i've tried to put her down. ugh.

by jdickens at 02/12/07 6:35PM
attempt #4 is not looking too good. and she's really loud this time. i'm this close to calling my sister and telling her to come home. how did i know this was going to happen tonight? i just had the feeling

by jdickens at 02/12/07 6:57PM
i'm tired and angry too but i'd like to go to bed. i don't want to babysit anymore.

by jdickens at 02/12/07 7:00PM
now losing #5. and i think i'm calling now.

by jdickens at 02/12/07 7:30PM
I completely remember that, in fact I've told the story several times over, it cracks me up every time. I'm so glad you're on here!

by kristiegore at 02/12/07 7:35PM
haha... I seem to remember being in attendance at TT that time you fell down the stairs, but I thought it was for the Lord's supper...

by thedelmccouryband at 02/13/07 6:32AM
I don't think I knew that you were there! Yes, it was during the prayer for the Lord's Supper.

by tucket at 02/13/07 7:49AM
i'm thinking i may go right after work??? i usually stay late on wednesday nights, anyway. wanna go???

by isaacgholman at 02/13/07 11:49AM
the stairs in that townhouse (in BG) are a HAZARD! I'm not surprised at ALL that you fell down them. Leah fell pretty hard on them, too, one time.. pretty scary.

by jesspico at 02/13/07 1:42PM
Ok so when are you coming to Tampa???????

by mellymc at 02/13/07 2:00PM
so elvis should change the song to "I can't help falling" and just leave off the love part...is that what you are saying?\

by torque_fxfa at 02/14/07 3:35AM
so i heard you are going to take your valentine out on friday night! hello, dollar menu!

by isaacgholman at 02/14/07 7:27PM
I have a problem with escalators. The problem is that I'm terrified of them! That and I fall up and down them as well!

by sweetmelissa at 02/16/07 9:24AM
tulips are my favorites too, along with daisies, so I thought I would drop in and say Hi. I see we have something else in common... Bowling Green...and falling. I just fell a week ago as I was trying to hurry inconspicuously back into the room where I had prepared the emblems - and left my contribution in my coat pocket). So much for inconspicuous)

by chickadee at 02/16/07 12:57PM
this made me laugh really hard. I'm glad you survived your falls!

by lyds at 02/16/07 5:01PM
we called them the sutton stairs of death

by lyds at 02/16/07 5:02PM
aren't we ALL alwyas granted superpowers when we least need them to get out of embarassing situations??

by cellophane at 02/18/07 8:51PM
i thought mawlboros were your downfall...

by isaacgholman at 02/19/07 6:22PM
Thank you for the prayers! :)

by sjelstrod at 02/19/07 10:17PM

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